Happy 7th Birthday, Tommy!

Tommy is 7 years old! 

For his birthday this year, we combined two of his most favorite things: San Francisco and science, and so we celebrated his birthday at The Exploratorium with his best friend. He had a really good time and it was the perfect day birthday outing. We were truly blessed that day!

This has been a year of growing pains for Tommy, both literally and figuratively. I just looked back at his 6 year old check-in and marveled at how much he changed in the past year! Yes, he grew a few inches. Went up a few shoe sizes. He complained of many leg pains throughout the year. But emotionally and mentally he also went through some major changes.

The normally happy and mellow boy turned into someone quite different starting around January. There were many fits. Many tears over very simple things. A quick temper. Always quickly frustrated. Behavior that made me wonder if my child had simply gone crazy, things he'd never done before and didn't fit his character. Lots of questioning about why exactly he had to do the things we asked. Lots of behaviors that made me honestly start to think he had one of the neurological disorders that seems to affect many boys these days. Or at the very least some kind of food allergy that was making my kid crazy. Something had to be wrong because this was not the kid that I knew. I spent many nights wondering what in the world happened to my kid. Was it something I did? Is this just who he is now? These were days of countless tears and prayers on my part.

And then, like a terrible storm ending, it all went away. Around August, he went back to his normal self. The change was so gradual, that I didn't even realize it until recently when a few people mentioned, "You know, I think Tommy has mellowed out a lot." And then it hit me: no more fits, no more crazy behavior. My old Tommy was back! It had waned so gradually I didn't even notice. It's been a few weeks since his birthday and he seems to be even still changing: he's a bit more responsible and more mature in a way that is hard to describe. I think he should have birthdays more often.

So here is Tommy today:

He is intensely curious. Finding out how things work and what they are all about is an impulse that he is learning to regulate. While six months ago his curiosity got him in big trouble several times, now he seems to know the boundaries of what he is able to do with his curiosity. He builds, he takes apart, he questions, all in a more mature way now. 

In school, he continues to do well in math, though it is also the thing that gives him the most frustration. He loves geography. He loves to read. His favorite books are the National Geographic series Weird But True, which is jam-packed full of facts about everything one can imagine: everything that is the biggest, smallest, fastest, heaviest, most expensive. His absolute favorite part of school is piano. He started taking lessons in March, and at first was lukewarm about it. Now he plays almost constantly throughout the day.

He longs for adventure and independence. We recently started having the boys make their own breakfast a few days a week and he loves being able to choose items for himself and have free reign over the kitchen. The other day he made scrambled eggs and toasted waffles completely on his own; he was so pleased with himself. We have been trying to find ways to give him more independence and let him roam as free as he possibly can while still being safe. He is so happy when we give him more little bits of freedom. 

I'm really enjoying my 7 year old. I'm excited to see how he grows during this next year. :)

Happy Birthday Donuts 

Birthday Interview with Tommy - 7 years old

Tommy is turning seven tomorrow, so it's time for our birthday interview! Based on how this interview went, I think I'm going to have to change some of the questions for next year, to make them a bit more mature. He seemed to think the questions were a bit silly. Why can't kids just stay little?

So how do you think it'll feel to be seven?
Pretty good.

What kinds of things can you do now that you’re almost seven that you couldn’t do when you were littler?
I’ll get more things to do. Like play harder [board] games. I can explore more games. 

What is your favorite color?
Red.

What is your favorite food?  
Apples with lemon juice.

What is your least favorite food?  
Butternut squash soup with mashed up mushrooms. (I explained that this food doesn't really exist, but then he said, "Yeah, but it would be just so gross!" Fair enough.)

What is your favorite book?
Sideways Stories from Wayside School.

What is your favorite thing to play with?
Geotrax train set

Do you have any friends? Who are they?
My best friend is Joseph Guenther.

What is your favorite thing to do?
Go on a daddy date. Actually, go to Central Park in SF.

What is your favorite thing about yourself?
That I’m good at helping people.

What is your favorite thing to do outside?
Climb our redwood tree.

Where is your favorite place to go?
Panera

What do you want to do for a job when you grow up?  
What Dad does. (What does Dad do?) Works with computers. (Why do you want to do that?) Because I like Dad, and I want to do what he does.

Where do you want to live when you grow up?  
I think I’ll live in San Francisco.

Do you think you’ll get married when you grow up? Who do you think you’ll marry?
Yes… I don’t know yet. 

How old will you be when you get married?
26

Where do babies come from?
A woman, of course. Why do you ask? 

Is there anything you’re afraid of?
No….Like what? I could make myself afraid of mirrors. I guess there's nothing I'm afraid of.

If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? 
A baby cheetah. Because they’re really cute and they can hop really well. 

What do you love most about your siblings? 
Ben: That I have someone to play with.
Lucy: That I can play with her.

What do you like learning about?
Piano, that’s my best thing. 

What makes you very happy?
Birthdays make me really happy, because it’s a happy time.

Tommy at 6 Years Old

You have grown up so much in this year. Sometimes I look at you and I can still see little Tommy, the way you used to crouch with your chubby toddler legs over a bug on the ground and study it. Other times I look at you and you look so positively grown up, it's a little unsettling. Where did my little guy go?

You've grown into a wonderful young boy in this past year. You have shown yourself to be a caring big brother: whenever Ben is sad or hurt, you do everything you can to show him love and comfort him. The other day Ben got his finger caught in something and ripped some skin off. He was badly hurt and was crying a lot, so while I doctored him up, you fixed him a snack of an apple, some bread, and some yogurt and found him his favorite sticker (of a train). It melted my heart to see you be so thoughtful to him! 

Another example is this: we have a rule that birthday gifts are off-limits to others for the first day that the birthday boy receives them. But you never hold to this rule, you always share with your brother anyway. And Ben does the same for you. (Kind of a pointless rule, right?)



You are loving school. Sometimes you lack the ability to sit and do the work for more than ten minutes at a time. But you are thriving in your learning. Your reading has improved a immensely this past year. This time last year you were just able to read the very simple Bob Books and could barely sound out words. Now you're at a second grade reading level and reading everything you can find. You're zooming through your math lessons too. Math and science seem to be your favorite things to learn about. 

You like doing paper crafts, anything that involves cutting, folding, glueing and taping. If I leave you alone with paper, tape, and scissors, you will create complex paper sculptures of airplanes or robots. For an-almost six year old, you've gotten very good at origami.

You have gotten more outgoing in this past year. You used to be shy about talking to people, particularly strangers. But now you are comfortable talking with people you know, and you're getting more comfortable talking with strangers. You seem to really open up and get animated when you talk about something that you like a lot.

I'm looking forward to watching you mature in this next year. You are such a sweet, sincere, loving boy and I love being your mom.

This past spring you learned how to read Green Eggs and Ham all by yourself. You were so proud.

Tommy's 6th Birthday

I wish I was a kid in my family when I was a kid. 

Wait. That doesn't quite make sense. But you know what I mean.

I don't remember having any birthday traditions growing up. So when we started to have children and celebrate birthdays, I really wanted to establish traditions that our kids could look forward to and find comfort in year after year.

I think it's safe to say that we've made up some pretty fun traditions. 

Tommy had a great birthday. 

His birthday fell on a Tuesday this year. On the Sunday evening before his birthday, he had a family dinner with the menu of his choice: pizza, greek salad, and apples. In lieu of cake, he requested strawberry ice cream. He was very clear on the fact that he wanted ice cream for his party, but cake on his actual birthday. Okay buddy. You got it. 

So he got to celebrate his birthday a few days early surrounded by some of his favorite people: his cousins. 

One tradition for the last four years has been for us to make his birthday cake together. I have pictures of almost-2 year old Tommy licking frosting and helping me to mix the batter. By next year he could probably make the whole thing himself.

This year he wrote out the exact specifications of what he wanted in a cake: Lemon cake with vanilla frosting. Strawberries on top. Sprinkles. Round. Two layers. Big.

I tweaked his specs a bit to fit my idea of what our family would need in a birthday cake. (ie: not too big). Since the cake was eaten on his actual birthday, and it was just the four of us, I just made a half cake. And if you only have half a cake, how else would you decorate it but as a lemon slice?

Another tradition: Birthday cereal! Our family doesn't normally eat cereal: not out of any strict code of good nutrition, but because it's messy and it doesn't fill the kids up for more than one hour. So it's a very special event to get to pick out birthday cereal. Tommy strayed from his usual choice of Lucky Charms and chose Trix. I have to admit that I've never actually had Trix before. They tasted like a cross between Kix and Jolly Ranchers.

He also got a lot of thoughtful birthday presents: 

The Iron Giant because it's a tradition to get the boys a classic hardcover book for birthdays and Christmas; and because we read an excerpt of the story once and he loved it so much we had to keep reading the same excerpt every night for a week.

A book about origami, because he loves paper crafting so much. It's the perfect level for a kid to follow the directions by themselves.

The movie Aristocats because it's his favorite. I think he likes it for its swingin' music. We rented it from the library a while ago and kept it for a long time because he liked it so much. Ever since then he's been asking to get it from the library again and again. Since I knew we were getting it for his birthday, I kept making excuses like, "Oops, it looks someone already checked it out! Oh well." Hee hee. 

A microscope, because he's one science-lovin' kid. He's always talking about germs and wanting to know what things look like "teeny-tiny". It's by far his favorite birthday gift. He learned how to use it himself and for the past two days has been sticking everything he can find under the lens. 

In the evening we had a family dinner of Tommy's choice (cheese pinwheels) followed by birthday cake. Then we tucked one seriously tired and happy six year old into bed. 

Tommy's Birthday Interview, Age 6

I originally conducted this interview with Tommy on video. Then my ornery computer lost it, so I had to do it again and write down the answers. The answers were a lot more interesting the first time around, but this will have to do for now until Mark can figure out where my video went! You can read earlier interviews from Tommy here: Age 5, age 4, and age 3. It's so much fun comparing his answers from previous years!

So how do you think it'll feel to be six?

I’ll still feel five, but later on I’ll get used to being six.

What kinds of things can you do now that you’re almost six that you couldn’t do when you were littler?

Lift a gallon of milk.

What is your favorite color?

Red

What is your favorite food?  

Ice cream.

What is your least favorite food?  

Cooked spinach.

What is your favorite book?

How Things are Made

What is your favorite toy?

That star thingie (He meant a star chart that shows constellations)

Do you have any friends? Who are they?

All the kids at community group. And my cousins.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Going on a date with Dad.

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

That I can ride my bike really well.

What is your favorite thing to do outside?

Play with my cousins.

Where is your favorite place to go?

Legoland. And Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

What do you want to do for a job when you grow up?  

That’s easy. Firefighter.

Where do you want to live when you grow up?  

San Jose maybe. (Why?) Because there’s a lot of cool places to go there.

Do you think you’ll get married when you grow up? Who do you think you’ll marry?

Yes. I’ll try to marry Hannah. But if not, [whispers] maybe Meghan.

How old will you be when you get married?

Twenty.

Where do babies come from?

Tummies.

Is there anything you’re afraid of?

Nothing much.

If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? 

Giraffe, because then I could reach leaves on tall trees.

What do you love most about your brother? 

When I ask him to help me, he helps me. Like when we’re making fun things together. 

What do you like learning about?

Snakes. And how snails fit into their shells and how they move.

Food Artist

The other day at the library we found a new series of books by Saxton Freymann. We all got really excited about these books because the pictures are just so cool. They use scenes made out of food to tell a story. I got almost all Freymann books the library owned, five in all, but I left a few so as not to be a hoarding library patron. Tommy pored over these books as soon as we got home from the library. Then he decided to make some of his own food creations. He got to work cutting up all the veggies and experimenting with how they fit together. Below is a sampling of some of his creations. He constructed these completely on his own. 

 His first creation: Cucumber Car

Carrot Jet

His pièce de résistance. I have no idea what this is, but I do know he was working on it diligently for over an hour. It started out just being a carrot car with turnip umbrellas (if you look closely through the gobs of grapes, you might be able to find it). Then he kept adding grapes and more grapes, until, he decided he was finished.

It was fun to see him get excited about something new and take initiative to figure things out for himself. He now says that he wants to be a food artist when he grows up and he's going to open up a restaurant that only serves fruit and vegetables. He's going to call his restaurant "Tom's". Stay tuned, because this is one vegetarian restaurant you're going to want to try when it opens!

A New Reader

For the past two years, Tommy's reading has been at about the same level. He could sound out words (very short ones in the beginning, then longer ones as time went on), and he could even string them together to read a short sentence. But the process was drudgery and he didn't like to do it for longer than five minutes at a time.

But something clicked with him in the past month. Now reading is more fluent and almost effortless for him. Just after Christmas he became interested in reading his Bob books, and he breezed through three sets of them. Now he's working through easy readers from the library and mastering them quickly.

I've always heard that one shouldn't push a child to learn to read. I'm glad I didn't push Tommy even though he seemed interested in reading. It really is true that they'll pick up reading quickly when they're ready for it. Watching him zip through books and improve so rapidly has been like seeing a miracle take place before my eyes.

Happy 5th Birthday, Tommy!

You don't even know this blog exists, so when I write to you on here, it's really in hopes that someday you'll be able to read about yourself in our family books.

You are five years old today. On one hand, I have to believe it because it says so on the calendar, and because 2011 minus 2006 clearly equals five. But on the other hand, I really can't believe it because it truly feels like we just brought you home from the hospital just a little while ago. 

I look at pictures of when you were first born, and when you were a tiny tot, and it feels like those days just happened. You'll probably hear us say that more as you get older, and you might hear other parents say that, and you'll probably roll your eyes. But really, until you have children of your own, you'll never realize how quickly time goes by. Someday I hope you'll know what it's like to look at your big five year old and wonder where that chubby giggling baby went. Or the tiny peanut who lay in his crib sweetly (that is, until a few minutes after this picture was taken):

But onward to topics about yourself that you'll care to read about someday:

Personality: You are a classic first-born. You are a rule follower. You are cautious. Ben's fearless activities make you nervous and you often implore him to be careful. Strangely, though, you're very brave and daring when it comes to climbing and jumping over rocks, even (or maybe especially) rocks that are piled high next to the Pacific Ocean.


You're a caring big brother. You continue to love babies. You'll find toys for them to play with, play peek-a-boo, and will push them around the deck in our Little Tikes car. You're so in love with your new baby cousin, Aaron. After visiting with him the other day, you told me, "Mommy, I love Aaron so much. He's so sweet."


You can be quiet and contemplative at times. When we went to the beach recently, you would just stand and watch it for a few minutes. At other times you're a stereotypical crazy, rough boy. There are times when you think about things a bit too hard and overanalyze them. You'll start your sentences with "I'm afraid that..." or "But what if...happens?" I think this comes from your engineering nature. You have a great ability to think about things from all different angles and a few steps ahead. 


You are a joy to be around. We have a routine now where you and I spend about thirty minutes together between the time you get up from your quiet time and when Ben wakes up from nap. We'll read books, play games, or just draw together. I look forward to that little pocket of one-on-one time when we can have fun conversations and I can get to know you a little better every day.


Likes/Dislikes: Your least favorite food is cooked spinach (or any other greens). You actually love raw spinach, preferably surrounded by cranberries, feta, and salad dressing. Watermelon is your favorite food ever. You could eat half a watermelon if we let you.


You discovered a love geography this year when I hung on our wall a map of the world so we could see where missionaries live that we were praying for. We realized that you had a knack for geography when you started to remember the names of most of the countries that are outlined on our map. Geography is often a topic of conversation at meal times since you can look over at the map and ask questions about what the other countries are named, what people there are like, and how long it takes to get there.


Abilities: You are slowly learning to read. You really want to learn how to read, but you get frustrated easily by the drudgery of sounding out all the letters. So we're slowly going through our Bob Books whenever you're in the mood to do some reading. I'm realizing that the way you like to learn is to be shown how to do something a few times and then be given time to figure it out own your own. You always have a stack of books to look at during your afternoon quiet time and I think that's when you apply your reading lessons. Weeks after a reading lesson, you'll read a sentence that I didn't know you knew how to read, and it always surprises me!


I've been working with you on learning some independence around the house. You can make your own lunch now, so long as it is peanut butter and honey sandwich with sides of cheese and fruit. You can also do your laundry from start to finish (although you're enthusiasm for this is seriously waning).


Tommy, I know that some day you're going to be a strong, good man. You have a good work ethic and you enjoy being helpful to others. My main prayer for you is that you would grow up to love and serve God, and I also pray that you would be a godly husband and father someday. Happy birthday, Tommy!


Sidenote: All day today you kept saying things like, "I can't really believe I'm five!" and "I'm not used to being five yet." I have a feeling you're going to enjoy your new year. :)

Birthday Interview with Tommy - Age 5

We're continuing the tradition of interviewing our children for their birthday. I'm finding that as they get older, their answers are getting funnier! I have a feeling that Tommy is going to make himself laugh someday when he reads this interview.

So how do you think it'll feel to be five?

I'm feeling very excited because I'm bigger, and finally I'm five.

What kinds of things can you do now that you’re almost five that you couldn’t do when you were littler?

I can pick Ben up.

What is your favorite color?

Red

What is your favorite food?  

Um, maybe strawberries. (What about watermelon?) Oh yeah! I love watermelon!

What is your least favorite food?  

Chicken. That's boring to eat.

What is your favorite book?

Wacky Wednesday. And Anna's New Coat.

What is your favorite toy?

Matchbox cars

Do you have any friends? Who are they?

My natural friends are Eliana and Kirsten. All the people that I know are my friends.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Wrestle with Daddy.

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

(After much explanation about what exactly this means...) How I can draw really well.

What is your favorite thing to do outside?

Usually it's to play in the sandbox.

Where is your favorite place to go?

Gilroy Gardens!

What do you want to do for a job when you grow up?  

I want to be a worker. (What kind of worker?) Like, to make houses. And I want to be a daddy.

Where do you want to live when you grow up?  

I want to live with Hannah. She will be my wife. We'll live in Spain. (Why Spain?) Because it's fun.

(Ben: "I wanna live in Candyland!")

Do you think you’ll get married when you grow up? Who do you think you’ll marry?

Yep. Hannah.

How old will you be when you get married?

Sixty or seventy. I prefer seventy because that's older.

Where do babies come from?

(Ben: "Tummies!") God designed that babies come from girls.

Is there anything you’re afraid of?

Tigers, if they're out of their cage. Oh, and our rooster because he attacked me. I'm going to call him 'Stinker' because he's so mean to me.

This Kid...

...made his lunch today almost completely on his own. He assembled and cut his peanut butter and honey sandwich, sliced an apple into wedges (I'm still wondering how he managed that with only a butter knife), and made a really good attempt at slicing cheese, but ultimately needed my help slicing with a sharp knife. Then he decided he needed a banana, so he sliced that up too. 

He ate everything on his plate and was still hungry, so he had a some yogurt afterwards. Now I understand the stereotype about boys eating everything in sight!

Tommy - 4½ Years

It's been rewarding watching your personality develop more as you've progressed through age four. The newest thing about you is that you are talking a lot. And I do mean A LOT. You are constantly asking questions about everything: "What does ____ mean?", "What's for dinner?", "Why did you turn the car around?", "What are we doing after nap? And after that? And after that? And after..." Sometimes I have patience with your increased chatter, but often I have to say, "It's time to be quiet for a few minutes."

We've also noticed something a bit funny about you. When it comes to climbing and being physically adventurous around the home and playground, Ben has you beat. But when it comes to a natural environment like a hiking trail or the beach, you will scramble over, climb, and jump off of rocks like a monkey. (And equally interesting, Ben is uncharacteristically cautious and timid in these environments).

I've mentioned this in another post, but it bears repeating since we keep seeing this on a regular basis: you LOVE babies, especially ones that are 9 months and older. A calm, tender, and gentle side that we don't usually see comes out when you're around them. You're protective of them and you get so happy when you can make them smile. You also want to take them for rides in your Jeep, but we've nixed that idea.

Books: You love to be read almost any book. Your favorite books to look at by yourself are those that have simple words you can read, like The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss, and those that are about how things work. Some of your favorites are books about race cars, construction machines, trains, and how the body works. A steady favorite is anything by Richard Scarry.


Shows: You're really into trains lately, so we've revived a few old favorites like Thomas the Tank Engine and I Love Toy Trains. In general though, you only watch a few shows a week.


Toys: These days, you spend most of your time outdoors playing made up games with your brother. Today I saw you boys playing "Crash the race car", where you zoomed your bikes around the deck and pretended to crash each other and other imaginary cars. As for inside toys, Legos are your current favorite. Unsurprisingly, your favorite things to build are cars and trucks. 


Activities & Skills: The other day we did our sand-writing activity and I was surprised to see that you know how to write almost all your uppercase letters. There are a few complex ones that you don't yet know how to write, like G and R. 

I've noticed that you learn best when you can figure things out for yourself. For example, with reading, you will show interest in a certain sound combination (say, the "-er" combination), so I'll spend five minutes working with you on learning how to read it and listing out words that use that sound. After five minutes your attention span is spent, so you'll move on to another activity. Then a week later you'll surprise me by randomly pointing out a word with -er that I think you don't know and reading it to me.

You're also more interested than ever in learning your catechism. It's been amazing to see how much you can remember. You seem to be happy with yourself when you can remember all of your questions (you're up to 45 questions now!)

Behavior: Ever since you were about two, we've noted that you go through cycles of good and challenging behavior: you'll be a well-behaved angel for about four months and then go through a short period of very challenging behavior for a few weeks. Right now you're in the midst of an angelic period. I know it's going to come to an end soon, but for right now I'm really enjoying it.


One aspect of your good behavior recently is that you have periods of being very eager to help around the house and learn how to do new things. You're actually becoming pretty helpful. You (sometimes) get excited when it's time to fold your laundry because you (sometimes) like to help me fold things. You're getting really good at folding your pants, and so I set them aside in a pile according to owner and you fold and stack. Honestly, sometimes I'm the one who gets excited because I think laundry folding time will be cut in half for me, only to find out that you're not interested in helping at the moment. But when you are interested, it's a huge help. 


You're also able to put dishes from the dishwasher away. I recently heard a speaker at my moms' group talk about how she rearranged her kitchen cabinets so her small children could help put the dishes away. This sounded good to me, so I tried it that afternoon and was surprised to see that you were able to empty the dishwasher and put almost everything away by yourself! Makes me wonder what else you're capable of...

Quotes: One day we had pot stickers with our dinner. I mistakenly called them dumplings and Daddy corrected me and said they were 'pot stickers'. We kept using both words interchangeably. Finally you declared, "I know! Let's call them Dump Stickers!" We all thought that was pretty funny. 


When talking about how to write letters, you decided, "Mommy, I think that the letter R is kind of like a B, except it only has one bump and then a slide."


While grocery shopping with me, you asked me what the red onions were. I told you they were called 'red onions'. You looked confused and said, "But Mommy, they're purple. They should be called 'purple onions'." A nearby shopper overheard you and said, "Heh, the kid's right!"


"Mommy, I love God more than anything! Even more than you!" (Music to my ears, son!)


"Mrs. ____, I'm very curious about your house! May I see your room, please?"


Sizes:
Shirt: 5 or 6 (depending on the brand)
Pants: 5
Shoes: 11