Mornings at Home

In the past few weeks it's been weighing heavily on my mind just how many mornings we're out of the house in a given week. There was really only one morning per week to call our own, and that become our "Stay and Play" day, our sanctuary from our normally busy mornings out of the house. Well, I've been enjoying our SAP days so much that I felt compelled to create more mornings like that. After lots of prayer and discussions with Mark about our schedule, we finally made the decision to cut something out of my schedule. It was a very hard decision, since every single activity I do has so many benefits...they all seemed so vital. In the end, it was Women's Bible Study that I decided to put a hold on. It wasn't an easy choice, since Bible study has been such an important part of my life for the past three years, and I've made so many vital relationships because of the various studies.


Having two straight days at home this week (Wednesday and Thursday) has shown has already shown me why staying home is so important to our family. One thing I realized was lacking in the boys' schedule was large blocks of time in which they could engage in free play - we had only small pockets of time that usually were interrupted by having to shuttle to an activity or prepare for some activity. With our newly free morning, they have the opportunity to play freely - making up games together, chasing each other around the house, or just playing in the mud without having to hear their mother say, "No, don't get dirty! We need to leave soon!" 


It has also provided plenty of teachable moments that normally wouldn't come up because we aren't home long enough for certain behaviors to come out. Having a few mornings at home has given me the opportunity give these behaviors the attention they need.


I hope that I am sharing with my children my contentment with being at home and teaching them to enjoy being in each other's company.

Benji "reading" to Tommy

Early morning Jeep ride

Brother chase

Watching train wheels move

Playing cars in their under-table "cave".

Decorating thank-you cards for his birthday presents (and name-writing practice)

Mud splashing!

Stuck in the mud

Back on the (Routine) Bandwagon

Now that our lives are getting back to normal after all the moving and house projects of the past several months, I've been finding more time and mental energy to get my life organized. Three  ways I do this are by setting up a daily routine, a weekly routine and with a habits chart for the boys. I'm sharing my routines and charts in the hopes that others might see some good ideas they can use. I've actually gotten many of my ideas from friends, blogs, or books, so I can't take credit for much of what you're about to read!

Daily Routine

It may seem excessively orderly for someone to schedule out their day, but there are several reasons why I've found I need to form a routine for my day and write it down:

• There are several things I'd like to do in a given weekday that if not scheduled will never get done, or at least won't get done with any regularity. Some 'necessities' I've scheduled in my day are reading to the boys for 30 mins, cleaning the house, and taking a walk with the boys (which all three of us desperately need daily!)
• It keeps the boys on a routine so they always know what to expect.
• It helps me involve the boys in my daily life - When it's time to clean, we are all in the same room working on different tasks. When it's time to make dinner, the boys are often in the kitchen with me washing or chopping vegetables or just playing. 
• It helps me set aside time to play with them - If I know I've already scheduled time to clean the house and do other things I need to do, then I can take the time to focus on them with a calm heart.
• It takes the stress out of figuring out what to do next or how to fill large amounts of 'empty time' in a day.
• By scheduling cleaning and other chores during the day and involving the boys, it ensures that I have naptime free. I always have a few things to finish up or pick up, but for the most part, the boys' naptime is my quiet time to sit with a book or Bible study and recharge for the rest of the day.

Finally, I should note that my routine has been made for me, not me for my routine. It is pretty rare that I follow the schedule exactly from one day to the next. But it is there for me if I need it.

Here are some helpful tips if you're interested in making a daily routine:

1. Pay attention to the chunks of your day that seem to flow well, and figure out why they flow well. Do you like it when you make it to the gym by 9:30am so you can head over to the grocery store before lunchtime? If that's important to you, schedule it in.

2. Pinpoint 3-4 main tasks you'd like to get done in a given day (such as going for a run, cleaning your house, spending 15 minutes quality time with your kids, family worship, etc) and structure your routine around those.

3. For some, it's ideal to schedule a routine around mealtimes. We like to aim to have meals around the same time every day, so it was easy for me to build my routine around those anchors in my day. 

4. Pay attention to when your children like to do certain activities. For example, I've learned that my kids are full of energy early in the morning after waking up, so giving them free play right after breakfast is perfect for them. After goofing around together for 10-15 minutes, they are ready to settle down for reading time. After 15 minutes of sitting still, they're ready to ride their bikes down the street.

Weekly Routine

It's taken a few weeks of trying  and tweaking routines, but I think I've finally hit on one that works perfectly for our family (at least for right now!). I arrived at this schedule the same way I arrived at my daily schedule: I decided on things that needed to get done in a given week (like cleaning the house, going to the grocery store, doing an art project with the kids, etc) and scheduled them into my week. Then I moved them around the week depending on other 'anchor' activities (such as a Wednesday morning Bible study and a Thursday Stay & Play). 

The best thing about scheduling errands and cleaning days is that I only have time to do them once per week. This means that I don't waste time making multiple trips to the grocery store in a week and I don't vacuum the floors every third day, because those things have a designated time. And just like my daily schedule, there are plenty of times that I deviate from this weekly routine, but I like knowing it's there to follow when I need it. 

Habits Chart

Almost one year ago to this week, I started a 'habits chart' with Tommy to help him learn to go through his morning and evening routines on his own. We've neglected doing this for so long, but I was recently encouraged both by a friend and by this book to get back in the habit.

I designed this chart so that both Tommy (who is almost 4) and Ben (who is  2½) could use it with ease, and so that one routine could serve for both morning and bedtime. When they get all eight boxes marked (which is four days' worth of morning/night routines), they are rewarded with a family date to our local frozen yogurt shop. Right now I have to go through the whole routine with them, but the goal is that eventually they will be able to do the full routine on their own, and then the rewards will slowly fade out so that we're not having frozen yogurt twice a week (not that I should complain about that). Tommy is already able to do each 'habit' himself, but he still needs encouragement to stay on task. 

I know that charts and scheduling is not for everyone, but if your days are feeling disorganized and chaotic, it may be worth a try. And if you're feeling truly lost and don't know where to begin to organize your time, ask God for wisdom and He will be faithful to help you.

A Bit of Sunshine

It's been quite a week (two weeks, really) here at the Knapp house.  Because of Mark's company's ongoing acquisition (is that the right word?) he has been working extremely long hours, waking up at 4:30am every morning to go to work and often not returning home until 7:00 or 8:00pm.  In the past week, I think I've only seen him a few hours collectively. To be honest, it's been very hard on me having him gone so much lately when he's been working from home our entire marriage.

It wouldn't be so bad if everything else were equal, but as luck would have it, it's been raining almost every day for the past two weeks.  Rain = no play outside = restless kids = bad behavior.  Tommy's behavior has been uncharacteristically, and downright, rotten in the past ten days.  He went from being compliant and obedient 80% of the time to about 10% of the time.  The other 90% of the time he was obstinate and incorrigible.

As with most changes and transitions of behavior in my kids, it caught me completely off guard and took me a full week before I realized that Tommy's behavior was not a case of the infamous "Terrible Threes" and something that I needed to figure out or update my parenting tactics, but that he was simply in need of exercise.  And then I remembered other times in the past two years when Tommy didn't get his quota of exercise and had a similar pattern of behavior.  (You'd think I'd remember this by now!)

Luckily, but the time this realization hit me on Wednesday, the rain had subsided and I spent as much time outside with the boys as I possibly could.  We went to the playground by the library after Bible study and stayed as long as they could stand the misty cold.  I all but stood there with a stopwatch and whistle making them run laps around the place.  Later that afternoon was so much more peaceful and I had about 50% of my well-behaved boy back.

Then Thursday morning was spent running around Aunt Cameron's backyard, followed by a bike ride back to our house.  The Behave-O-Meter rose a bit more.  Then on Friday morning we went on a 1-mile walk (for me) and bike ride (for Tommy), then some errands, and then spent two hours in our backyard digging in the dirt for worms, playing "parade" and running races.  Then after naps, we went to the playground for some more running, jumping, and climbing.

By Friday evening, the Behave-O-Meter was back up to 80% and I had my sweet boy back.  Now I'm looking forward to a few more days of clear weather outside and peaceful behavior inside before we're hit with another ten days of rain.

There would be photos accompanying this post, if I hadn't left the camera outside overnight and discovered it dew-covered this morning.  Oh, it's been a long week.

Little Stinker

Ben's potty training didn't go as well as I expected.  Despite my confidence in his readiness (which I still hold), he showed almost no interest in learning to go potty.  He did exceptionally well the first day of training - he only had six accidents in the morning and then a big success at lunchtime (he started to go, but then stopped and told me he had to go potty, so I whisked him off to the bathroom just in time).  The rest of the day was mostly successful as well.  I figured we would have our breakthrough (him learning to tell me that he had to go before he started to have an accident) sometime during the second day and we could wrap this whole thing up in 48 hours.  Boy was I wrong.


The second day was nothing like the first.  It was as if I was potty training a different child, one who could care less where or if he had an accident, and "forgot" how to tell me that he had to go.  We had only one success when I caught him with his poo face and rushed him to the bathroom just in time.  That was early in the morning.  The rest of the day was a disaster.


Day three started out very much like day two, even down to the poo-face-rush-to-the-bathroom move.  After three hours of accidents, I decided it was time to retreat and reevaluate my strategy.  I talked with Mark about our options.  I talked with my sister-in-law Cameron who had a recent experience potty training a less-than-willing child (ie: one who has the ability, but lacks the will).  


What I came up with is a plan to continue potty training, but to be a bit more relaxed.  I'm going to keep him in underwear and put him on the potty when I know he has to go and praise him when he goes.  I'm not going to act negatively about accidents, but matter-of-factly ask him to help me clean up and remind him where his pee belongs.  I'm going to mostly stay home during this coming week and see if he gets any better at recognizing to me when he has to go.  Hopefully he'll gradually make the transition towards telling me when he has to go.


Putting Ben back in diapers and re-training at a later time is so not an option at this point.  I've dedicated three days to this effort and I'm not prepared to give up and count those days as loss.  Plus, I'm not convinced those days are a loss anyway.  I think Ben is choosing to pick this as a battle.  He's normally a very easy going boy, rarely has a tantrum and is generally compliant.  But once in awhile he'll pick a random battle with me and become a strong-willed child for the duration of the battle.  It could be a five minute long battle over saying "Yes, mommy.", thirty-minute long battle over whether or not he's going to clean up juice he spilled, or a week-long battle over telling me when he has to pee.  I'm determined to win this battle, even if I do have to tweak my strategy a bit.

Priceless

Twenty-five pairs of big boy undies: $24

Pull-ups for nap time that pass as "nighttime undies": $8.99

Assortment of sweet and salty snacks as rewards for going potty: $25

Forty juice boxes, to promote lots of potty visits: $28

Saying goodbye to diapers two weeks before your 2nd birthday: Priceless

I'm going to tackle potty training Ben during this long weekend using the same 3-day method that I used with Tommy. Why so soon?  Because he is so ready for this step.  He goes pee in the potty any time I put him on, he swipes Tommy's underwear from his drawer and tries to put them on, imploring, "Wear undies?", and he has the physical ability to hold his urine for long periods of time (up to 2-3 hours).  He stays dry for naps, but not overnight (which I've realized is not a sign of readiness, despite what many sources say.) 


After reading this book, I started working with him at 18 months on going to the potty at regular intervals throughout the day, such as when he wakes up in the morning, before and after meals, before and after nap, before we leave the house, and before bedtime.  He's very good at going pee at those times and sometimes holds it between those times, but not reliably. He needs work on recognizing when needs to pee and holding it before he gets to the toilet, which is where the 3-day method comes in.  It's a crash course for kids in learning to recognize the urge in time to go to the potty.  


This time around, I'm actually looking forward to the training.  I learned a lot from my experience with Tommy and bought watered-down versions of juice boxes (Trader Joe's sells 1/2 water, 1/2 juice boxes) and mostly salty snacks, as well as some fiber snacks that will hopefully promote solid movements during the training, so we don't end up with another child who refuses to go #2 in the potty for seven months after being potty trained.  


I'm also looking forward to having three whole days alone with Benji, who normally doesn't have the benefit of my undivided attention.  It's going to be (mostly) fun to have nothing to do besides staying by Ben's side and play games all day.  Besides the supplies listed above, I'll also be stocking up on favorite shows & books from the library as well as digging out some forgotten toys from our closets.


Mark and Tommy will be having fun daddy-son dates each day of training.  I'm not sure what they have planned yet, but I know Mark is looking forward to spending one-on-one time with his son. 

Ben at 22 Months

Photo courtesy of Tommy

You turned 22 months on December 1st; that's just two months away from your 2nd birthday!  You are developing quite a little personality and your vocabulary has exploded in the past few days.


Some of your favorites:
Color - Green.  Everything is green to you, and if I ask you what color you want in something, you'll say "Bean!"

Book - Goodnight Moon.  This has been your favorite book for months now. You also like the Gossie series by Olivier Dunrea. You won't sit through too many other books. 
Food - You still love all things meat, but you are starting to eat some vegetables. Just today at lunch you ate all the sliced baby tomatoes on your plate!
Shows - Bambi.  You only watch about 30 minutes of TV a day, a few times a week, but you are in love with Bambi right now.
Toys - Anything that builds. You enjoy Legos, wooden blocks, and anything you can stack otherwise.  Daddy thinks you're going to be an architect when you grow up.


Some new words/phrases:
"No, no, Mommy!" (I'm not liking this new phrase)
"This?" - as in, "What is this?"
"No, mine!"
"Hi, Mo-mo!" - Hi, Nemo


You are cruising slowly into the Terrific Twos and I'm happy to say that this time, I'm one step ahead of the game!  I remember from my Terrific Experience with Tommy that this is a relatively short phase that we both have to get through, so that you can be a joyful and obedient child by the time you reach your third birthday.


You are generally obedient (thanks to early training), but a few times a day you'll decide you want to do things your own way and will throw a fit, complete with red-faced kicking, screaming, and rolling around on the floor.  Case in point: The other day we were at a friend's house and you purposely spilled your juice on the floor because you didn't want to sit down on the chair to drink it like I asked.  I did what I normally do when you spill and handed you a towel to clean it up, but you refused. I gave you a few chances and minor chastisement, but still you resisted.  So we paid a visit to the bathroom for a formal chastisement and then returned to the spill. Still you resisted.  We went back to the bathroom and again returned to the spill. Finally you wiped the spill!  It was a ten minute ordeal, but well worth the effort if it meant that you learned that tantrums don't get you anywhere.


Back to happy things...you are "all boy", as some like to say.  You love to climb as high as you dare and you dare to jump off of things as high as 3 feet tall.  You are also learning to climb more challenging venues - just this morning I found you sitting on top of counter in the kitchen and I have no clue how you got there.  You can climb things on the playground that your big brother doesn't dare do yet.  You like to wrestle, though you have a hard time finding a willing partner.


You are a very social boy. You are attracted to other children, even if they are considerably older than you, and you try to talk to them and get them to play with you.  You make me smile and laugh about 128 times a day.  :)


Some boring stuff, so Mommy can reference in the future: 
Shoe size: 6.5
Shirt size: 3T
Pants size: 2T

My Testimony

Autumn’s Testimony
Delivered at Mothering By Heart, Oct. 26, 2009

My Life Before Christ:
Up until recently, my life has always been very easy, where all my plans succeeded and nothing ever went wrong. This made it easy to solve my small problems by myself.

I was raised in Connecticut by a single mom. My mom accepted Christ when I was 4 and we started going to church. I went to a Christian school for kindergarten. I accepted Christ the same year, when I was 5. I don’t remember much about the experience, except that it happened at church. This didn’t turn me into a perfect child, but I did feel the Holy Spirit constantly tugging on my conscience.

I remember feeling horribly guilty every time I did something I knew was wrong, like talking about someone behind their back or telling a lie. I also remember feeling a distinct sense of injustice when another child was being made fun of and would (usually) do what I could to stand up for them. I know that if God’s Holy Spirit were not part of my life, I would have just shrunk into the background and not said anything. I remember praying a lot. I told all my non-Christian friends that they were sinners who needed to be saved by Jesus (I’m sure their parents loved that!) I really loved going to church and to Sunday School.

But as the years went on through elementary school, middle school, and high school, we went to church less and less until finally we never went at all. Then I transferred from my Christian school that I went to until 4th grade to a public school in a new city in 5th grade.

As time went on, I stopped praying and reading my Bible. I wasn’t surrounded by Christians on a regular basis anymore and I found myself mirroring the world’s attitudes instead of God’s commandments. I wasn’t “bad” per se, I didn’t do drugs, drink or party, and I was considered one of the “good girls” of my high school class. But I was very selfish, moody, disrespectful to my mother, and I just always felt unhappy. I remember only having happy days when everything went exactly the way I wanted it, which obviously was very rare. But I still had a pretty easy and uncomplicated life.

I graduated from public high school, went to college, and met my husband during this time. We courted and were married in record time. It was 6 months from the time we first spoke until we were engaged, and 3 more months until we were married.

Our first year was pretty normal as newlyweds. We lived in Connecticut while I finished up my last year of college. I’m sad to say that God was not the center of our lives or the center of our marriage. We prayed now and then, like if someone was very sick, or if we really wanted something, but not much more beyond that. We never sought God’s will or acknowledged that we needed His help. We went to church sporadically but never found a home church while we lived in Connecticut. We had the minor growing pains that all newlyweds have as they learn to live with a new person and learn each other’s quirks.

I graduated college in May 2005 and the same day we started driving our Camry westward to begin our new life in CA. Our second year of marriage brought my pregnancy with Tommy, who will be 3 later this week. Again, our conceiving a child came and went without a hitch and life was pretty good. Having a newborn was a very easy transition for me and I took to motherhood pretty easily.

When Tommy was only 6 months old, we conceived Ben (on purpose), and just a few months later moved to Morgan Hill from Santa Clara and started attending West Hills Community Church the second weekend we were in town.

How Christ drew me in:
It was when we joined West Hills and I starting attending Mothering by Heart that I heard a speaker talk about the huge responsibility we have as parents, and particularly as moms, to teach our children about Christ and to foster in them a relationship with God:

Deuteronomy 6:6: “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

This was the first time I read or heard this passage and it was the first turning point in my life that urged me learn more about God. I felt Him calling me to get to know Him better so that I could teach my children about Him. I knew the first step was to read my Bible, so I began reading through the New Testament, and most of the books I read for the first time in my life.

I started attending Bible study on Wednesday mornings. I read everything I could about how to be a godly mother and wife. Although I read a lot of good advice and learned a lot, it was difficult for me to apply what I learned in every day situations with my kids.

Trials of Having Two Kids:
By this time, Ben was born and now I had 2 children, a 15 month old an a newborn.
I never knew fatigue, frustration, and impatience like I did parenting two children under the age of two. For the first 6 months of Ben’s life, I literally had no free time for myself. This was very difficult for me to deal with. I remember putting one child down for a nap, and then hoping I had enough time for a catnap, would lay down on the couch, only to be woken up 5 minutes later by the other child waking up from his nap.

I was angry all the time, in a bad mood, and my home was definitely not a fun place to be in. I displayed anger and impatience I did not even know I had in me. I was not enjoying my children and I’m sure others noticed my impatience.  I was not living according to the Bible which says in:

James 1:19-20: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Ephesians 4:2: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

I definitely was not being humble or gentle, and I wasn’t bearing with my children in love. By this time Tommy was 2, Ben was 9 months old, and I found out I was pregnant with our third child, a huge surprise, and not a good one. I cried for about an hour when I saw that positive pregnancy test. I didn’t know how I was going to deal with three children, especially ones so young and close together when I could barely deal with the two I had.

Just before this point, Mark and I were pretty sure we didn’t want any more than two children and were even thinking of getting a vasectomy. When we found out we were pregnant, we signed up for a vasectomy right away, which we did this past February. I’m ashamed now to think about how I reacted to what I now realize was God’s blessing of another child and an opportunity to rely on Him for all my needs. Instead of leaning on God for all of our needs, we made sure we couldn’t have any more children.

Trusting in God through my trial:
My pregnancy went along smoothly just like my previous two. We heard the heartbeat and saw ultrasounds at 8 and 12 weeks and everything seemed to be going well. But at 16 weeks we lost that baby. My charmed life was over. This was a problem I could not solve on my own. I could not get through this on my own power. This trial literally brought me to my knees. I clung to God and to His Word like I never did before in my life. I told God that I needed His help and could not live without Him.

We were studying the book of James in Wednesday morning Bible study and my memory verse for the day I began to miscarry was from James 1:2:
“Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

I didn’t exactly know what that meant at the time, to consider this trial as ‘pure joy’, but God gave me the grace to do it anyway. He was faithful to fulfill the promise written in James and used this trial to grow me into a more mature Christian. I did not want this experience to go by without learning something from it, so I prayed for God to give me wisdom:

James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

One of the things God taught me was to rely on Him for EVERYTHING. Since then, I have been asking Him for wisdom for every little thing. I ask for daily wisdom and patience with my children and He is faithful to give me the strength to stay calm in even the craziest situations. I remember one day in particular when, in the space of about 2 hours, my 18 month old poured water all over the bathroom floor, stomped in dog poo outside and tracked it all over the house, poured juice out in the grocery store, broke a bowl, which he helpfully tried to put in the sink, and stomped blueberries into the carpet. Eight months ago that would have been enough to send me over the edge, but because of God’s grace I was able to laugh about it all and stay calm.

I ask for wisdom and discernment in my discipline. I even ask for wisdom about how to organize my time at home. Ever since I had children, I couldn't seem to find the time to get everything done I needed to get done: make nutritious meals, keep my house clean, spend quality time with my children. When I asked for wisdom about it, instead of trying to figure it out myself, God led me to a way to organize my daily schedule so that I get everything done and still have time to relax.

Before, when I needed wisdom about a childrearing issue, I would do online research or ask moms on parenting boards what they thought I should do. Now I go to God first and ask Him what He would have me do, and He is faithful to guide me to the right path.

God shows me His faithfulness:
Most recently I came to God for wisdom on how to expand our family. I felt He placed the desire on my heart to have more children which is a miracle itself! Since Mark had had a vasectomy and was against having it reversed, I asked God for wisdom about adoption. I researched adoption and learned all I could about it, but the closer I got to making that first step towards it, the more uneasy I felt about that decision. I felt this was God leading me away from this option.

I still felt strongly that God wanted us to have more children, so I began asking Him earnestly to change Mark’s heart so he would want a reversal. I never talked to Mark about it, but only went to God in prayer. After a few weeks, one day out of the blue Mark told me that he wanted a reversal and that he had even done research about it and had chosen a doctor to do the procedure! Mark’s reversal was 2 months ago and now we are waiting on the Lord to bless us with another child.

Gospel message & Conclusion:
I have no doubt that I accepted Christ when I was 5 years old. He changed who I was. But being so young I did not have the maturity or the support I needed to grow as much as I could have. And so two decades later, God gave me a trial that presented a fork in the road as a follower of Christ. I could have chosen to blame God for my tragedy. I chose to trust Him.

We live in a sad world that we cannot control. Christ is the only way to find true peace. Christ can give you peace. But first you need forgiveness and a relationship with God. I realized that I was a sinner who needed to be saved from God’s judgement when I die.

If you don’t know Christ, there is nothing more important than accepting that His death and resurrection have paid the penalty for all your sins. If you would like to talk to someone about your relationship with God, your table leaders would love to help you. Since realizing that I am nothing without God and cannot do anything without His help, my life has such incredible peace. Every day is a happy day. My happiness flows from this peace and grace that God gives me, not from whether everything is going the way I like it.

Tommy at 33 Months

You are so close to becoming a 3 year old!  In many ways, you are already there.  We’ve noticed an increase in, shall way say, challenging behavior, that lets us know the Terrific Threes are on their way.  


You just started telling stories in the past few weeks.  They go something like this:  Yesterday, I saw the farmer, and he went up the ladder, like this [imitates climbing].  And then he fell down.  And he got a big ow hurt.  And then he went up the ladder, like this, and he fell down.  And then he played trucks.  They’re so entertaining and we can definitely see a lot of your daily life in them!  


Your favorite books:  I’m Dirty!, I Stink!, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!, and Green Eggs and Ham.


Your favorite food:  You’ll eat almost anything except meat and fish.  Your favorites include strawberries, blueberries, cheese, tomatoes, and broccoli. These are things we can put on your plate, look away for 10 seconds, and find them scarfed down. Of course, you also love crackers, pizza, and hot dogs, but what kid doesn’t?


Favorite activities:  Playing legos.  You like to build “tall tall towers” and then carry it around the house to show Daddy and me, at the risk of it being knocked down by Little Brother.  You also like to color with markers and crayons.


New things in your life
We’re working on memorizing simple Bible verses and you’re very good at remembering.  This week’s verse is “Even a child is known by his deeds.”  I explain the verses as best I can in 2-year old terms and I’m hoping someday it will all sink in and help you be a good boy.  


You also have a new Habits Chart.  Each morning after breakfast and each evening before bedtime you have a series of ‘habits’ you complete on your own with very little help from me.  In the morning you clean the table after breakfast, brush  your teeth, use the potty, and then dress yourself.  You’ve always been resistant to learning to dress yourself, but lately you’ve been insisting on doing it, I think because it helps you complete your task on the chart (sounds a lot like Daddy!).  In the evening you clean up your toys throughout the house, brush teeth, use the potty, and put your PJs on.  You seem to really like following a series of ‘habits’ that you can do all on your own.  

You’re also starting to do chores.  Each day you have a chore that corresponds to my own.  While I’m dusting tall furniture, you are dusting the shorter furniture.  You also help with sorting your laundry while I’m folding.  


I can hardly believe you’re almost 3 years old!  In so many ways you still seem like a little toddler, but in many other ways you are a very big boy.  I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of a 3-year old you will be. 

Answered Prayer

Here’s the quick news:  Mark is getting a vasectomy reversal next month, on August 12!!  This means that we can start trying to get pregnant again starting in September! Read on for full details...

Disclaimer:

I know this is a very long post, but I felt I couldn't cut any of the details out without defeating the purpose of it, which is to glorify God. So if you want to read about God's work in my life and how He has changed, uplifted, sustained, and been faithful to our family, keep reading!

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I scarcely even know where to begin. Let me try to begin by telling you about my prayers for the past 5 months since my miscarriage.Not knowing what to pray about at first, I simply prayed that God would give me wisdom and show me what I could learn from the experience.Besides learning the obvious, which is how to care for people going through a miscarriage experience, He began changing my thinking about family size.  He seriously changed my thinking.  


You see, before the fatigue of pregnancy ever graced my body, I always thought I wanted four kids.  It just seemed like a good number.  After we had Tommy, we didn’t even wait three months before decided the little guy was so great that we wanted more.  The plan was to have two children close together, wait a few years, and have two more close together.  


Then Ben came along and my world came crashing down.  I never knew fatigue, frustration, and impatience like I did parenting two children under age two.  For the first 6 months of Ben’s life, I literally had no free time for myself.  I don’t mean I didn’t have time to get a pedicure or browse the bookstore, I mean I couldn’t sit down on the couch for 5 minutes to catch my breath and read a few pages of a book that wasn’t about parenting.  I displayed anger I never even knew I possessed.  As the months wore on, things got a little better.  With God’s help, I took control of my anger and reconciled my lack of free time.  And as the months wore on, the boys got a little more independent and I established a solid routine, life got a little easier, but was still very difficult and energy-draining.  I began thinking that I never wanted children again, because it would only be more of this.  


I went off my birth control pills (long story) and began searching for alternative, non-hormonal forms of contraception.  There wasn’t anything we felt comfortable using, so we began talking about taking permanent measures to ensure we could never get pregnant again.  We talked seriously about a vasectomy, but never felt like it was the right way to go.  Then I got pregnant with Samuel in December and we thought that was the confirmation that a V. was the right thing to do.  We prayed about it now and then, but did not wait for an answer from God that it was indeed the right thing.  That was our first mistake.  


Fast forward to after the miscarriage in March.  I was down to only two children again just when I was beginning to get used to the idea of three children. This is when God started to change my thinking about the burden of children.  I began to pay closer attention to larger families (4+ kids by my definition) at church whose children were polite and well-behaved, and whose mothers did not seem to be the frazzled mess I always envisioned would be the case with so many children.  Mark and I heard a mother and father of four grown, God-fearing children talk about the joys of raising a large family and the harvest of blessings so many children bring later in their lives.  We felt our hearts desperately desiring more children.  


No longer did more children equal messiness, disarray, impatience, less time to ourselves, less ability to buy nice things, a cramped house, and unstable finances.  Now, more children meant relying on God for our needs.  


If we felt we couldn’t emotionally handle more children, that meant we needed to bring our needs to God and ask for help.  If my current children were not behaving in a way that made me want more children, it meant I needed to be more diligent in my discipline, and rely on God for patience and wisdom in this area.  If I was worried more children would mean less free time for myself, I need to change my priorities.  After all, the world tells me that everything is about me...I need me time, I need to do what makes me happy.  But that is not what God tells us.  He tells us that we find our strength in Him alone. He is our rock. He is our fortress. We find our rest in HIM. 


Now that my heart had been changed to want more children, the next step was to figure out where these children would come from.  A reversal was out of the question because Mark had such a traumatic experience with the first surgery.  We briefly, but very seriously, considered adoption.  We talked with families at church who had adopted and thought this was the best route. But this door was closed quickly and I was heartbroken at first, thinking my chances of having more children were gone.  


So I began to pray.  I prayed for miracle to happen in Mark so that we could get pregnant.  I prayed that either his vasectomy would miraculously reverse or that he would change his mind about the surgical reversal.  I prayed like my life depended on it, many times throughout the day.  And God answered my prayers.  


Without me knowing it, Mark started to research reversals and learned everything he could about it.  He even learned about the doctors and narrowed down a short list to contact. When he told me he wanted to get the surgery, I was thrilled, but I can’t say I was surprised.


So now we are getting a reversal.  The surgery is scheduled for next month, August 12, which amazingly is the same week I was due with Samuel and also two days before our 5th wedding anniversary.  It will be done in Oklahoma by a Christian doctor who charges very little for the surgery because reversals are his ministry.  The doctor himself has a very high success rate, and Mark’s reversal is very likely to be successful because the first surgery was done so recently.  The earliest I could possibly get pregnant is probably October, so keep a lookout for a pregnancy announcement!