Homeschooling Wrap-Up, or How I Learned That I'm a Lousy Homeschooler

I just put the finishing touches on our photo book for the 2013-2014 school year. This will be the second book I've made. As I was assembling the photos of the boys on field trips, doing projects, or doing their schoolwork, I was struck by how many of the photos included Lucy. She's right there alongside them in almost everything they did. I love that my children are able to be together all day long and learn beside each other. I hope their relationship with continues to grow strong through the years.

The kids learned a lot this year. They learned about the life cycle of several insects and animals. They learned a lot about ancient history and early American history. Both Tommy & Ben's reading improved greatly. Ben learned how to add and subtract and Tommy learned how to multiply. But I think I'm the one that learned the most. As I look back on the year, I can see how much I grew as a homeschooling mom. In fact, I realized that I'm a lousy homeschooler.

In the beginning of the year, I had great plans for how much the kids would learn. We started off with a very full schedule that included Spanish, typing, geography, art study, crafts, in addition to good 'ol reading, writing, and math. The schedule looked great on paper, but it left very little space for joy and freedom in learning. Instead, I found myself acting more like a drill sergeant than like a loving mother. Some of our struggles were due to the behavioral issues of our oldest. But the strict schedule certainly didn't help. And my attitude when I kept my little people on schedule really didn't help.

So a few months into the school year, I pared down the schedule down to the essential subjects. It helped a bit by giving the boys more time and a bit more freedom. But it still didn't change my dictatorial attitude and my need to rule school time with an iron fist. My relationship with them was suffering and I didn't know how to fix it.

Additionally, I didn't seem to be able to fit in to our schedule basic things like reading aloud. The boys were always so eager to get outside or to get to their Legos that sitting and listening to me read was the last thing they wanted to do. And for me, after a full morning of emotional wrestling, sitting down and reading was the last thing I wanted to do. We didn't have time for nature. We didn't have time for field trips. And if we did, it was always squeezed in after a full morning of lessons. This was definitely not the homeschool experience I envisioned.

Then I picked up a copy of Free to Learn by Peter Gray (via Last Child in the Woods). It was about giving children plenty of freedom and space to pursue their passions, trusting them to make decisions for themselves, and showing interest in and respect for what they want to learn about. This type of homeschooling is sometimes called unschooling, or relaxed homeschooling. I became very intrigued about it and so I read everything I could on the topic. I liked what I read. No, I loved what I read. I knew that this was what my children needed. But also it was what I needed. 

And so in early April, with just two months of school left, I threw away our schedule and cleared out most of our workbooks. I only left math and handwriting on the table, which they only had to do 3-4 times a week. (They didn't have to do a formal reading lesson because they are both at the point of reading independently, which they do throughout the day). It took them all of 15 minutes to complete their assignments in a given day. The rest of the day they were free to do what interested them. Tommy usually used the time to bake something or build something, while Ben usually played with Legos. They spent a lot of time outside. We went for walks. I started reading aloud a lot more often.

It's been almost two months and I can see a big change in our home. I am no longer chained to my schedule of what I feel needs to get done. I have more emotional energy to focus on my relationship with my boys. I'm able to feed their interests and enjoy their passions alongside them. I feel closer to my boys than I have in a very long time. 

I know that there are many other homeschoolers who are able to do 'normal' homeschooling and have a great relationship with their kids. They don't turn into a drill sergeant. They are somehow able to have the patience and energy necessary to keep kids focused and on track. But this past year I've learned that I am not one of those people. 

And so we are on this journey of relaxed homeschooling (or unschooling) for as long as it continues to work for me and my children. You can read about our continuing adventures in unschooling here:

http://unlikelyunschooler.blogspot.com

Last Day of School!

Thursday was our last day of school. We celebrated by going to Jamba Juice. We sipped our smoothies and talked about what fun things we'd like to do during the summer. This is the list the boys came up with: 

- water park

- beach

- point Lobos

- Carmel

- get ice cream

- go see a movie

- Jamba Juice

- Take pictures

- family adventures

- buy a monster truck wheel (???)

- plant a tree

- playdates

Afterwards we went to Target to pick up some summer goodies, like a Slip 'n Slide, some water balloons, and bubbles for the tot.

I'm really looking forward to the summer. I hope we go on lots of family adventures and have a lot of fun together. It's so hard to believe I have a couple of 1st and 3rd graders now!

Homeschooling

We are two full months into our homeschooling year. We've settled into a rhythm. Most days are good, as long as my expectations are basic and I don't push anyone to do more than they are able. Then there are the days when one or more of us wake up on the wrong side of the bed and it's a challenge to be kind to each other. Those are the days when sometimes schooling gets set aside and we just work on being nice to each other. 

Tommy's favorite subject is piano. He says, "It's fun to play and to show people what I've learned." Ben's favorite subject is math, because "I get to learn new things." 

It's been neat to watch the boys flourish this year. Tommy is really like his new freedom in being able to choose his own schedule for the day. And Ben, who used to be very resistant to learning anything in the past, is doing well this school year. He is taking off in math, reading, and writing. He will even sit with his books and do work when it's not school time! 

We are really plowing through school. At this rate, we will be "officially" done with school by April, but of course that is not accounting for Life's curve-balls. My plan is to do as much as we can before our fourth little one comes along, because I know from experience that school will come to a screeching halt once that happens!

Tommy's coloring-book version of Starry Night (for picture study). 

Ben's volcano (for science)

This is what school time generally looks like for us. Even Lucy does school! She likes sitting with the boys and drawing. 

Lucy watching 'Bo-bo' practice piano

Back to (Home)School

We started school on Monday of this week. Our town doesn't start until Thursday of next week, but it's always around this time that I'm growing tired of our open-ended days and start yearning for some structure. Plus, I love starting so early so we can be spontaneous enough to take days off during the rest of the year and still finish school in mid-May.

This is my first year officially schooling two kids (Tommy for 2nd grade and Ben for kindergarten). Last year Ben had lots of freedom to either join us or not for school, and he usually opted not to join us in favor of doing a craft nearby or just playing in another room. 

I had some apprehension about schooling two kids. I wondered how in the world it would work, since both kids are young enough to need me to be very hands-on. Well, it's only been a week, but so far it's been smooth-sailing with two. We'll see how things go the rest of the year.

Another reason I was nervous about starting school this year was because of almost constant power struggles between me and my oldest. Last year was difficult for us at times (okay, it was really difficult at many times). It took me until almost the end of last schoolyear to figure out that:

a) I was pushing him too hard and making him do what I thought was a good amount of work, instead of what was a good amount of work for him. Now my goal is to get his "focused attention" on a given subject and to get his best work. I stop him after he produces a few perfect letter F's (for handwriting) or he masters his math concept for the day, instead of expecting a whole page of F's or two pages of math problems. It is better that he gives me his best work rather than get frustrated trying to produce a large quantity of work.

 b) he needs to know what the flow of the day is. He constantly asked questions like "What's happening after this? and then after that? And when is such-and--such happening?", which took up a lot of our time and my patience. 

c) he needs to have control over his own schedule. He had a hard time last year being told what to do all the time ("Okay, now it's time for math.... and now it's time for reading....") and not having any say over what came next.

To resolve both of these last issues for this year, I laminated our schedule posted it on the wall. He is able to choose the order in which he wants to do things. He gets a lot of satisfaction from checking off each subject as he completes it.

Our school room. Pretty much the same as last year, except that we added a piano and another bookcase to house our ever-increasing collection!

The books we are working on, in addition to the 3Rs. We are using the Charlotte Mason method which focuses a lot on learning through reading really good books. 

First day special breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes. The boys received boxes full of new school supplies as their back-to-school gift.

I am optimistic about this school year! I just need to remember to focus on my relationship with my children, rather than making sure we check all the subjects off the schedule and all the days off the calendar. I need to remind myself that the reason they are being educated at home is so we can learn to love each other and live as a family, not just so they can just have a different teacher.

This article below is from a blog that I find very encouraging. The author's posts have helped me a lot lately, in letting go of a lot of my uptightness (is that even a word?). I especially love this post, on letting go of our schedule and just being with your child:

http://www.handsfreemama.com

Last Day of School + Summer Break!

Updates have been scattered lately. We've been so busy having fun in the sun and hanging out with friends that I rarely have a chance to sit at my computer these days. 

Our last day of school was May 30. We celebrated by wrapping up lessons early and heading out to Jamba Juice for smoothies. Then we headed to the park for a playdate with friends. We're done with schedules and lessons for the next two months.

This was my first "real" homeschooling year. We've had a lot of unexpected breaks and unplanned days off, which left me feeling like I didn't fit in everything I intended. But as  I packed up used readers, math workbooks, handwriting samples, and artwork from the past year, I realized that we actually accomplished a lot, and by some miracle actually managed to squeeze in the required amount of days (thanks to doing work on some weekends).

Some time ago I heard the advice to make a photo book at the end of each year, to chronicle what you've done. I decided to do this, mostly so the kids would have something to look back on and remember what they did each year. During the process of sifting through the past year's photos, I was overwhelmed at all of the wonderful memories we'd made together in the past year. There were so many warm pictures of the kids learning how to cook, playing with friends, doing lessons at the kitchen table (or in the living room in front of a fire), going on trips as a family, and simply hanging out around the house. It made me realize that we've done so much more than get through the 1st grade math book or learn to read fluently. We learned how to live together as a family, get along, help each other, and enjoy just being with each other.

Now that summer break is here, we are trying to fit as much fun as we can before school officially starts again. Last year I felt guilty because we mostly stuck close to home all summer. We had our foster baby (Baby B), and going anywhere with three kids felt overwhelming. Now I'm an old pro, and we go to fun places several times a week, like playdates with friends or the beach.

 As you can see, the kids still have a lot of fun at home. With huge amounts of free time, they find lots of things to, usually involving water!

On To New Adventures

This precious little one left our home mid-day Tuesday. Of course we knew she was going to be leaving sometime soon, but we thought we'd have at least a few days' notice to physically and emotionally prepare. Through a series of miscommunication and missed messages, we ended up having a half days' notice. 

We met Baby B's new parents Tuesday morning and had a good three hour visit with each other, and then they all left together. They were truly very good people and it is easy to imagine Baby B having a long and well-loved life. 

It was a rare human experience. One day you have a child whom you love and have raised since birth. Twenty four hours later, she is gone, never to return. Normally when this happens to your child, it is a tragedy, usually due to death or kidnapping. But this is foster care, so it is a good thing. So we find ourselves very emotionally confused and drained. We are in the difficult position of both mourning and celebrating her departure. After she left, Mark took the rest of the day off and we spent time together as a family.

We've put ourselves back on the list to get more children and we are looking forward to having another little one. But we want to squeeze in some fun with our family of four before we get The Call. So today we had 'crazy school day'. I took the boys out for bagels for breakfast and they did their school work at the street cafe. Then we went on a field trip at a local fire station. They saw how the fire truck works and how the fire fighters live while they're on duty. They got to climb all over the fire truck and inside the cab, and were able to play with the fire hose (which, if you asked them, was probably the coolest part of the whole trip). 

After the fire station, we hit Target and the library. It's amazing how much you can get done in a day with only two school-aged kids!

Thomas Matisse

This month we are studying a few paintings by Henri Matisse. I keep four prints displayed on our bulletin board so the boys can see them throughout the day. When it's time to do our picture study, I ask the boys to choose their favorite painting, and then I ask them to describe it to me. Tommy's description of this painting, The Green Stripe, went something like this: "This man has yellow skin. It's all splotchy and rough. He has a green stripe down his face. I'm not sure why. He has blue hair and red lips. He looks sad."  

After he described it, he drew it himself:

First Day of School 2012

Yesterday was our first day of school. We started so early so that we can have more flexibility throughout the rest of the year to take time off when we need to. And because I've had about as much of summer as I can take. Ben is doing preschool and Tommy is doing 1st grade. He was supposed to do kindergarten this year. Earlier this summer I started planning out my school year for kindergarten and realized that Tommy had 'accidentally' learned about 80% of K material. Oops! That meant I had to switch mental gears and seriously consider doing first grade instead of K. I'm not a big fan of changing plans, so I took this decision very seriously. I researched what a first grader would be learning versus what a kindergartener would be learning. I gave him a 1st grade readiness test from a respected homeschool curriculum company (which he totally aced). In the end, I decided that it would be better for Tommy if we made the jump to 1st grade. However, one thing I need to keep reminding myself is that it doesn't matter so much what I call the grade; it is ultimately more important that I teach him according to his abilities and interests, not what a grade number says I should be teaching.

First Day of School special breakfast and gifts. Their gifts were "cool" pencils and an electric pencil sharpener. The sharpener was really for me; the hand-cranked one we currently own is quaint in theory, but in practice is a perfect place for crayons points to get jammed and for pencil shavings to explode from. I also conducted an interview where I asked the boys various school-related questions. 

Some gems from Tommy's interview:

What do you hope to learn about this year?: "Rocks, like what the clearest rock in the world is. And what the shiniest rock in the world is. I just want to learn all about rocks."

What do you want to be when you grow up?: "A builder."

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be?: San Francisco 

And some from Ben's interview:
What do you hope to learn about this year?: "Really cool umbrellas." (huh?)
What was your favorite thing you did this summer? "Camping with our friends."
What can Mommy do to be a good teacher this year? "Be really kind to your kids. Which would be me and Tommy."


Our "schoolroom", which is also our dining room. It's perfect for school because of the long table and tons of wall space for maps and white boards.

I didn't plan on doing real work today. I thought we'd do all the fun "First Day of School" stuff, look at all the new books, go over the new schedule, and then they'd want to go outside to play. But they begged to start work. Being the nice mom I am, I let them do as much handwriting work as they wanted. Which turned out to be twenty minutes' worth. I'm soaking it up because I know the novelty will wear off soon enough!

Our tentative schedule. Each 'lesson' takes 10-15 minutes, so the whole school day should take no longer than 90 minutes (not including the break). I'll probably tweak this as time goes on and we work on our groove.

For those interested in curriculum details: 

This year (and probably for the next few years) I'll be focusing on the 3 Rs: reading, writing, and arithmetic. I used these three books to get most of my ideas for how to structure my schooling and what information to focus on:

The Three Rs by Ruth Beechick

A Charlotte Mason Education by Catherine Levison

Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola

For Tommy I'm using Rod & Staff Penmanship, Math-U-See, and readers from the library for reading practice. In addition, he will be doing narration from Aesop's fables, scripture and poetry memorization, and we'll do read-aloud about science and history once a week. Realistically, it will probably be a lot more often then that, since science seems to be Tommy's favorite subject and since history is my favorite subject. Narration is one of those things that normally wouldn't be done every day, but it only takes a few minutes and speaking is an area that Tommy really needs practice. Ben will be tagging along with Math-U-See and in addition will be using the Explode the Code primer for reading/writing. Both kids will also learn about well-known classical music and artwork.

This post is mostly for my own benefit so I can remember how I did things and either laugh at myself in months and years to come, or remind myself of things that worked well for us. But I hope it gives others some good ideas as well. :)

Preschool 2012 Wrap-Up

Our preschool year is done! I am pleasantly surprised at how well the year went. There were so many times I felt guilty that I was wasn't doing 'enough' with the boys, at least compared to what I imagined their brick-and-mortar preschool peers were doing. Last summer I made a list of what I wanted each boy to have learned or accomplished by the end of the year. Just the other day I looked at that list for the first time in many months. To my amazement, they hit each one. In many cases they far exceeded my expectations. 


Some of my goals for Tommy were: learn basic addition/subtraction up to 10, count to 100, get through Bob Books series, learn to empty the dishwasher, do laundry, and clean his bathroom. Ben's goals were to learn all his letters and numbers and to work on coloring and drawing (a year ago he wanted nothing to do with drawing and coloring). He also learned the same household tasks that Tommy did.    


It's amazing to me that the boys learned so much without me trying very hard to push a set plan on them. I just read them a lot of books, we had conversations about anything and everything, worked together with them in the house, and mostly just followed their interests. At times it felt like we weren't doing very much. But now that I look back at where the boys were a year ago, I can see that we did a lot. I'm so glad I heeded the advice of experienced homeschool moms to just take it easy and read. It really works!





Even though we are "done" for the summer, not much has actually changed. Since we were doing just the basics every day - Bible, catechism, reading lessons, and read-alouds - I can't really stop doing anything. We are still doing our reading lessons because Tommy is progressing really well with learning to read and I don't want him to take a break from it and forget everything. We're also still having our Bible time. But for my own sanity, I want to make a way to distinguish 'school-year' from 'summer break'. So what's different?


For one thing, I'm trying to get out of the house with all the kids a lot more. I'm a homebody and love the comfort of being home and having nowhere to go. So it takes a lot of mental energy to get me and three kids out of the house, even for a few hours. So we all made a list of fun places to go, and I hope to hit them all this summer. The best part is that all of them are free and within 15-45 minutes  away from our house. Some of our future outings include going hiking at local parks, visiting some awesome out-of-town playgrounds, and maybe even a beach outing (though the thought of taking three kids to the beach by myself is still daunting!)


I'm also trying to be more relaxed with our schedule. Normally we would have School Time right after breakfast. But now I'm letting the kids play whenever the mood catches them, even it if means playing in the sandbox at 8 o'clock in the morning or wandering next door and playing with cousins for a few hours after breakfast. I try to fit our learning in later in the day, whenever we get a chance.


I used this preschool year as a practice run for "real school" so I could test out different ways of doing things and get a feel for how I'd like to conduct school for our next year. I've learned that we all do best when we get everything done right after breakfast, and then the boys are free to play the rest of the morning until lunch, or we are free to run errands and get home in time for lunch. I've also realized that nap/quiet time is still non-negotiable. I experimented for a few weeks by letting the boys skip quiet time a few days a week. It wasn't pretty. They got pretty cranky and wild by 5pm. They need that time to just  be quiet and look at books to give their minds and bodies a rest. I don't think that will change anytime soon!


I'm already getting excited about planning for next year, and I'm having fun figuring out how to turn our dining room into a school room. I see a trip to Ikea in our future. :)

Check out these handsome students. The picture on the left is from September 2011, the right one is from June 2012. It's funny to me that Ben happens to be wearing the same shorts in both pictures!

Preschool

I stopped doing my preschool updates here quite a while ago. The holidays came around and we took a break from doing structured things. I love routine, so towards the end of the holiday season I was really craving our routine again. Then we got a string of foster babies, and we had to tweak things a bit with each new arrival and departure. I changed our routine it a bit and now our days look slightly different than they did in the beginning of the year. Now that we have some stability with Baby B, we've hit on a new routine that is working really well.

Each morning generally looks the same: The boys wake up around 7:30am and eat breakfast. After eating, they get themselves ready for the day and tidy up their room and beds. Baby B also wakes up and eats at 7:30. By the time breakfast is over and the boys are ready for the day, it's time for B to take a nap around 8:30am. The boys and I settle on the couch for 'Bible time': singing hymns, memorizing a new catechism question, and Bible reading. Then it's time to read our chapter book, and the boys play quietly on the floor with Legos while I read. We're currently reading Farmer Boy, and for some reason it feels to me like it's taking us forever to get through it. Probably because I'm not reading as consistently as I'd like to think I am. :)

At some point during all this, Tommy will have his reading lesson; he finished all the books in the Bob Books series so now he is reading from a Bible reader I made. I copied and pasted sections from the New International Reader's Version Bible into a Word document, and divided the text into bite-size chunks for him, so he doesn't get overwhelmed. He's been doing this for a few weeks now and he's already read through the first chapter of Genesis. I got the idea to do this from another home schooling mom and I love it because he's reading something real and important. Early reader books are functional for new readers, but the text is boring and pointless. I love that Tommy is reading something rich and true instead of Dumpy to the Rescue!. And yes, that's a real book.

One thing I've added to our days is learning about art and music. We started off with some of my favorite people: Vincent Van Gogh and Aaron Copland. We talk about the paintings during meal times, we've read some books about Van Gogh and his paintings, and we've tried to copy the paintings. In case you're wondering, a Van Gogh reproduction by a four year old ends up looking more like a Picasso. We listen to Copland's music a few times a week in the house (also during meal times, when they're relatively still and calm!) and in the car. So proud that my boys can identify a Copland piece within the first few seconds of the music.  

After 'school time', it's time for Baby B's next feeding. After her feeding we'll go out of the house, either for an errand, a play date, or just for a walk down the street. After this it's time for lunch, then naps for all - Baby B even naps at the same time the big boys have their quiet time. I'm really pleased with the rhythm of our day. I know that one of these days B will change and we'll have to tweak things a bit, but for now I'm really enjoying this sweet spot! 

Enjoying some creek splashing with friends.

Picnic lunch and books. A new tradition we've come up with is to have a lunch of peanut butter and honey sandwiches, apple slices, and popcorn, and eat it leisurely on the grass while I read books to them. 

Preschool Weeks 10 & 11

Clay caterpillar. Made mostly by Tommy. I just attached facial features.

Days of being cooped up inside are perfect for making nests and caves.

Ben started reading simple words. It astounded me when he found our magnetic letter sent and started making and sounding our words. I didn't know he could do that! He can read any 3-letter word, and some longer words where the vowels sound like themselves (like 'still' and 'open'). I completely credit Letter Factory for this.

Reading our new library books by the fire on a chilly day.

 Making birthday cards for Mark (we celebrated his birthday this weekend). I got the idea from this website.

Homemade bow! I was the coolest mom that day. :)

I decided to put down our chapter book, The Magician's Nephew, to be picked up again at another time. We got about halfway through the book, only because of my own willpower to muscle through it. I finally had to put it down because the the kids had a hard time staying interested. They did learn a few interesting new words like minion and treachery, so I suppose our time wasn't totally wasted. We've been enjoying books by Rosemary Wells, particularly those about Max & Ruby a bunny brother and sister, and Yoko, a Japanese cat who has adventures at school.

I've been feeling like we need to get out of the house and go someplace fun. It's been a while since we've had a 'field trip'. Next week is Thanksgiving, so I doubt we'll go anywhere then. But hopefully we'll continue our tradition of going to the beach the day after Thanksgiving.

Preschool Weeks 8 & 9

We somehow managed to slip back into summer mode in the past two weeks. Maybe it was visiting the beach a few weeks ago that did it. Or maybe it was just the fact that things have calmed down a bit and it's been too easy to let the kids play their own made-up games all day. For whatever reason, we've been having a lot of free play time and not much "preschool" time. 

We did manage to do a few preschool-ish things: 

- finished reading James and the Giant Peach and started The Magician's Nephew. This is by far the most complex book I've read the boys. It's taken about four chapters for them to warm up to the story, but now that the story is getting more interesting, they're more into the book. I've been itching to read them The Chronicles of Narnia for awhile now, so I really hope they enjoy the story. If not, we'll put it off for another year or so.

- Read and re-read (and then read again) The Red Chalk and A New Coat for Anna, among other library books. These were particular favorites this week. 

- did lots of self-directed crafts. It's amazing what a 3 and 5 year old can come up with using just tape, paper, glue, markers, and scissors. 

 Wrote thank-you cards to family members for birthday presents. I wrote out a simple message lightly in pencil and Tommy traced over each letter and drew a picture for each card.

Both boys practiced writing. Tommy practiced lowercase letters and Ben practiced uppercase. He only recently has become interested in writing and it was fun to see him take to it so easily.

A small glimpse into their free time activities - the "city" they built one rainy afternoon this week, complete with train-track freeways and army men citizens.