San Francisco

My latest field trip with the boys was to San Francisco. (Thank you Daddy for staying home with Baby M!) The main purpose was to attend a San Francisco Symphony youth program, a forty minute program where the musicians played snippets of classical music for schoolchildren. We got to sit in the terrace, right behind the orchestra, which was very cool. In all honesty, I think I was much more excited about it than the boys. After just ten minutes they kept asking if it was time to go yet. But I'm checking off "Fine Arts Field Trip" for the year! 

The trip was a series of mishaps. But everything ended well and we all had a great time. We ended up at the Golden Gate Bridge because I missed a critical turn trying to get to the Exploratorium, the kind of turn that if you miss it, you either go over an incredibly big bridge or have to drive around in a twenty minute circle to get back to where you need to be. We made the most of it. We got a snack, checked out the bridge exhibits, hiked around a bit, and then got back in the car.

Here the boys are at the Palace of Fine Arts, right next to the Exploratorium. Or what used to be the Exploratorium, anyway. When we (finally, after getting lost several times and driving around in circles) got there we realized that it was closed. Yes, closed. To my kids, who were beside themselves with excitement at the idea of going to the Exploratorium, it was like finding out that Disneyland was closed. They were seriously disappointed. But after the tears subsided, we made the best of it and explored the grounds and climbed some awesome trees.

Plan B: Golden Gate Park. Made use of the concrete slides, climbed to the top of some crazy tall rope climbing structures, made some new friends, and did the usual playground things.

Our San Francisco tradition: stopping at Krispy Kreme donuts on the way home after a long day of fun.

Flashlight

Tommy got an electrical kit for Christmas. It was full of batteries, wires, small motors, lightbulbs, and lots of little gadgety things. He loves putting them together to figure out how to make things go. 

I give you his latest creation: a flashlight.

Discovery Museum

The boys and I have been going on a lot of adventures together while Baby M stays home with Daddy. Here we went to the Discovery Museum in San Jose. It had been about two years since they had last been here. They had a ton of fun. It was bittersweet for me though, because I realized that they've outgrown most of the things to do at the DM. I'm looking forward to bringing Baby M here when she's old enough to discovery everything for herself.

Me: Tommy, can you smile, please?

Tommy: I am! 

Making corn husk dolls superheros.

The water room was their favorite part of the museum. They stayed here for about two hours total.

Ben's 5th Birthday

Ben had an awesome birthday:

Birthday cereal: Cookie Crisp. I wish I took a video when he saw the cereal pour out into his bowl: "Wow! It's like little cookies! ((gasp)) And they have chocolate chips!!"

Helped me make his cake: chocolate with green icing. Part of the perks of being the birthday boy is licking the batter off the utensils.

Finished product

Opening presents surrounded by his favorite people: brother and cousins (other cousins are around, just not in the photo)

Dad putting together Ben's gift from Grandma. Perfect for the monkey that Ben is.

Point Lobos

It's been a month since our family downsized considerably. Back in late January our two foster children left in the same week, leaving only our two bio kids and our soon-to-be-adopted seven month old daughter. Since then, we have slowly been getting back to normal life. Part of that return to normalcy and the freedom of 'only' having three kids has been getting out for family trips more often. 

These pictures are from when we went to Point Lobos back in January. Better late than never, right? 

Happy 5th Birthday Ben!

Ben: You are a goofball. You so love making people laugh. You'll do anything to get a laugh, even if it means literally flipping over and falling on your face. You love making your baby sister laugh. You are incredibly sweet and loving. 

You like hiding in the house and seeing how quiet you can be. You even invented a game called "Sneaky" where you and Tommy tiptoe around the house and try to sneak past me. I, of course, pretend that I don't hear the thud, thud, thud of your footsteps or the giggles coming from inside the pantry and act so surprised when you jump out and say "Here I am!" 

You don't like us joking with you. You get very angry when we say we're going to the cooked-spinach restaurant when we're really going to your favorite restaurant. You'll say, "Mooooom, I don't like you teasing me like that!". 

Books: Berenstain Bears are your favorite books. You go straight for the BB section at the library every time we go, and will sit for the whole time picking out your maximum allotment of three BB books. You also love anything with action, so I've been letting you get some (selected) comic books from the library. 

Food: Turkey sandwiches are your favorite food. You hate spicy food, or anything that is even remotely spicy, like pepperoni or the mildly seasoned chicken at Chipotle. 

Toys: Your favorite toys for a long time have been weapons. Specifically, you love the Nerf guns you got for Christmas. You love it when I announce it's time for a shootout and we all play Nerf guns together. I have to admit that I really enjoy our Nerf gun shootouts. You've also taken a recent interest in Transformers.

Activities: You really enjoy playing soccer. Since your dad and I are sports-clueless, we've been showing you the little we know and you've taken off with it. You have natural agility and an intuitive sense with how you move your body. We've been saying for a while that we need to get you into sports, and now we're finally doing it. You will be starting soccer in the spring. You don't know it yet, but you'll probably be over-the-moon excited when you find out.

Shows/Movies: You like action-packed, intense movies. Your favorites are How to Train Your Dragon, Robin Hood (old Disney version), and Kung-Fu Panda. 

We love you, Benji! You are such a joy to our family. I am looking forward to seeing what kind of boy you grow into over this next year.

Ben's 5th Birthday Interview

So how do you think it'll feel to be five?

Really good. I’ll still think I’m 4 and a half.

What kinds of things can you do now that you’re almost five that you couldn’t do when you were littler?

Climb really really high. Like on top of the redwood tree. On top.

What is your favorite color?

Blue and green. (Do you have a favorite between those?) Light blue.

What is your favorite food?  

Candy cane.

What is your least favorite food?  

Mushroom soup.

What is your favorite book?

Berenstain Bears.

What is your favorite toy?

Really cool Transformers. Actually, no. I mean really cool water guns.

Do you have any friends? Who are they?

Of course. Gabriel and The Halls. And Hannah. and Kurt & Meghan. 

What is your favorite thing to do?

To go to fun places with with you and Dad, like Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

That I can climb so well. 

What is your favorite thing to do outside?

Play tag with Dad.

Where is your favorite place to go?

The Jungle.

What do you want to do for a job when you grow up?  

Take care of my kids. (But what will you do for a job?) Get money for working at Oracle.

Where do you want to live when you grow up?  

I want to live in this house when you guys move out.

Do you think you’ll get married when you grow up? Who do you think you’ll marry?

Yeah! (Who?) You know. (No I don’t). Claire, of course.

How old will you be when you get married?

86. (86 is really old to get married. It might be better to get married when you're a bit younger.) Oh. How old was Dad when he got married? (26.) Okay, then 28.

Where do babies come from?

God and their mom’s tummy.

Is there anything you’re afraid of?

Tommy scaring me. And spooky caves.

If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? 

A sick baby dog. So people could take care of me.

What do you love most about your siblings? 

(Tommy) Because he picks me up and hugs me and is really kind to me when he leaves for somewhere.

(Baby M) She’s so cute!

What do you like learning about?

Baby puppies.

What makes you very happy?

Tommy being really kind to me and picking me up.

Snow Trip with Dad

Given an unexpected week off from work, and needing some bonding time with my boys after all the chaos of the past 2 months, I (Mark) decided it was time to take them on their first snow trip.  We drove up to Truckee, in the northern Lake Tahoe area.  It was a great two-day trip, just the 3 of us.  We mostly went sledding at an assortment of locations, but we also went ice skating, hot tubbing, had snowball fights, and ate at a lot of fun places.

In Squaw Valley

Most of our time was spent sledding.  The boys loved it, but got banged up a bit.

This is how deep the snow was in the Tahoe National Park

Trips with Dad usually involve more goodies then usual

Our hotel had a working hot tub, surrounded by snow drifts. The maintenance man was very kind and got it all set up for us at 7:30 AM in the morning.  We spent an hour in it and it was a blast! The air was so cold, and the water so hot, that if we splashed around we created so much steam that I could not see Benji from across the hot tub, 6 feet away.

Recovery & Rockets

I mentioned in the last post that Mark had an emergency appendectomy. He's been slowly recovering the past two weeks. He's doing a lot better now, but for the first week he basically lived in his recliner in the living room. He couldn't move around much except to get up to do his hourly lap around the house. So we had to get creative about how he spent time with the boys (who were seriously in need of some daddy one-on-one time). He played a lot of games with the boys and worked on a lot of crafts, which worked out well.

We got a model rocket kit and built it together.

 The kits said they were for ages 7+, but there was still a lot of ways the boys could help.

Tommy LOVED launching the rockets. After blast-off he would start hollering about how cool it was, and then run across the field to catch them as they landed via parachute. 

Benji did NOT like the rockets. The loud launch scared him. The first launch, he was 10 feet away. After that, he kept repeating, in a very cute way: "Daddy, I did NOT like that. It was TOO loud!" Every subsequent launch he was 15 feet further back. By the 4th launch, he was on the other side (width-wise) of a football field. But he did like counting down for us, yelling across the field. 

Christmas 2012

This was the craziest Christmas ever. 

Four days before Christmas, Mark went to the doctor to find out about a pain in his abdomen, and it turned out to be an appendicitis! He had surgery that day, was in the hospital for two days, and was mostly immobile for the following ten days.

Christmas itself took a bit of a back-seat due to our situation with five kids and Mark's surgery. We were not able to go to our church's Christmas Eve service, which we were looking forward to.There were a few other traditions that were skipped out of necessity as well.

Christmas morning was a surprisingly pleasant time. The boys loved their presents.  We noticed that we gave them the same thing as last year: Shoes, books and guns. The essentials. Only this year the guns fired Nerf darts instead of water.

On Christmas day Mark surprised the family with a Viola performance. He had been secretly taking lessons for 3 months. To the shock of those gathered, he played a few Christmas songs.

And on Christmas Evening, we all got together with the cousins for dinner and more presents. It seems like the Cousin Count increases by one each year. Aaron was last year's addition, and Maria is this year.

The Best Christmas Ever

The past week has been one of the most stressful in our lives. But it's also been one of the most joyous. It's hard to know where to begin. So I'll start at the beginning.

Tuesday, December 11: I had a normal day with my family of six. I took the four kids to Monterey Aquarium for Homeschool Day. Fielded multiple phone calls from social workers trying to work out an issue with our placements. Oooo-ed and ahhhh-ed over jelly fish. Wiped snot from many noses. Changed innumerable diapers. Ignored tantrums. Cuddled the tiny newborn. It was a rather stressful day, what with juggling children and phone calls (sometimes literally) all day. But it had become my new normal.

The same evening we got an email telling us we'd been matched with a five month old little girl for adoption. Say what?? 

Mark was immediately ecstatic at the possibility of adoption. Me, the planner and master figurer-outer, was less so. My mind immediately began swimming (more like drowning) in planning out the logistics of caring for three babies. Where would they sleep? Will three babies plus two big kids fit in our car? Is it even legal for us two have three foster children? Ultimately we agreed to move forward with the match. It turned out that it wasn't legal for us to have three foster kids under two years old, so we had to get an exception: a waiver saying that it's okay for us to have so many kids as long as there is another DCFS-cleared adult in the home at all times. To that end Mark arranged with his employer to work from home for the next month, and we had Mark's mom "processed" by the county so she also could server as a regular care-giver.

Baby M - We still aren't able to post photos of her face until she's officially ours

Friday, December 14: We go to the post match meeting and find out more about the baby, whom we'll call Baby M for now. During the meeting we sat across from four social workers, each representing different interests. Based on that ninety-minute discussion, we immediately accepted. And just like that we jumped on the fast track to adoption. 

Over the next week we had several visits with Baby M's foster parents, to get to know her and for her to get to know us (as much as we could 'get to know' a five month old). She visited at our house once. Less than a week after saying "yes" to her at the matching meeting, she was sleeping in her crib in her new home. Our home. Talk about a crazy whirlwind.

March 8th 2013 is the big day for us. That is when the courts make certain decisions regarding Baby M. For the 2 1/2 months between now and then, Baby M is technically another foster child in our care, and there is a very small chance (10%?) that something could throw a monkey wrench in our adoption of her.  Assuming all goes well, on March 9th, we are having a party, as it will be 100% certain that she will be ours.

It is fitting, since we lost our third son through miscarriage four years almost to the day before that date, on March 6th, 2009. That event started a long series of events, well-documented in this blog, which will eventually have led to our adoption of Baby M.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." - Job 1:21

All the kiddos - Kid A, Tommy, Baby M, Ben, Baby J

So what is life with 5 kids (3 babies + 2 big kids) like? It starts the night before with me going to bed at 9:00pm. Wake up around 1:30am to feed the newborn. Wake up again around 5:30am to feed the newborn again. Stay up, get ready for the day. I could go back to sleep, but that would be disastrous for my day. I've learned about myself that I need at least thirty minutes to myself in the morning or my day doesn't go well. Make coffee, pray for patience, grace, and every good thing I'll need to get through the day. Make breakfast before the first kid wakes up (generally the 18 month old). 

The rest of the day is a blur of juggling quality time with each child. I've learned to embrace the chaos and mess, and to sieze each opportunity for hugs, snuggles, and good conversation as they arise. There is mandatory quiet time at 1:30 for everyone. Mama needs a cat-nap to get through the rest of the afternoon. Thankfully I don't have to make dinner anymore because of some very generous friends who have been providing meals for us. If I'm lucky, the whole brood will go to bed by 7:30pm.

Our life is very full right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

These verses have been getting me through each day:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:4-7


Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. - James 1:2-5

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. - Galatians 6:9

At Capacity

On Saturday we accepted placement of a 18 month old little girl, Kid A. She's completely adorable and sweet. Understandably, she was very clingy when she first got here; I could not put her down at all for three days. We've had her for a week now and she's just starting to get comfortable venturing on her own around the house. 

She loves Tommy and Ben, and they love playing with her. We've found out that this is the perfect age for both of them; Tommy normally loves the babies, and Ben really enjoyed the three year old we had. Kid A falls right in the middle, and both boys enjoy interacting with her. The other day they spent thirty minutes blowing bubbles just so she could pop them.

When we had Kid A for five days we were called for a two day old baby girl, Baby J. It was a tough decision. We had just turned own a baby the day before. We remembered that the time when we had Kid C and Baby C two month ago was really rough, even though it was only for a few days.

After several long discussions, we said yes to Baby J. So here we are, two days later with two bio kids and two foster kids: four kids six and under. We were told for both children that their stay would be very temporary, less than a week, which was the primary reason we said "yes" to the newborn. Turns out that both cases are going to be longer term than we thought. Big surprise, huh?

I'm not going to pretend that everything is sunshine and rainbows: this is hard. Caring for the two new foster kids 18 months apart is the easy part. The hard part is managing the system for two separate children: Double doctor appointments, social workers, parents, and four-time-a-week visitations. 

Something might have to change, but for now, what is keeping me sane is trusting that God will work it all out. And knowing that he will give me the strength to do everything. 

Christmas Tree Tradition

Last weekend we got our Christmas tree. We got it at a local Christmas tree farm. It was rainy all weekend, but thankfully the rain let up for about an hour so we could find our tree.

Tommy & Ben helped cut it down and then shared the burden of lugging it across several fields so we could pay for it, then load it up to bring home. Mark strung the lights on it, but the boys decorated it mostly on their own (I helped spread ornaments out a bit).

Decorating the tree was a sweet time of remembering loved ones and events that lay behind each ornament. With each one we took out, we recalled the stories and people attached to them. This was the first year that the boys seem to 'get' the fun of thinking about each ornament as we placed it on the tree. They often exclaimed with recogntion, "Oh, I remember making that!" or "Grandma gave that to me when I was three!" I hope they never forget these traditions that we do over and over each year.