Buzz Cuts for Everyone

During a lovely outdoor lunch today, Mark and I decided it would be fun to give the boys buzz cuts.  So we did.  In retrospect, I think Ben looks better with longer hair because it balances well with his chubby cheeks...shorter hair makes his cheeks look so big!  The great thing about boys’ hair is that it will be back to ‘normal’ in just a month or so.  


Just looking at their cute little buzz cuts makes me feel summery and ready for a popsicle.

A Day in the Life of Benji...

Feeding himself oatmeal

Conquering Tommy

Handling important financial negotiations

Helping Daddy in the workshop

Eating apple...and spitting it out (favorite past-time)

Sick Boys

The boys were sick with stomach flu since Monday night until Thursday afternoon.  Mark and I also got it, luckily in different shifts so we could take care of the kids.  Even though they were sick, they made for some really cute photo ops.  Everyone is better now, so it’s time to resume normal fun activities!

Benji's First Haircut

Benji got his first haircut today.  He was mellow most of the cut and only started crying near the end.  He looks so grown up!

Before

After

Adventures in Potty Training

For past few months, I’ve felt the pressing need to potty train Tommy since we both seemed very ready for this next big step.  I asked around for potty training tips and heard lots of praises about a 3-day potty training program.  A few of my friends and acquaintances used it with great success on their 2 year olds, so it sounded good to me.  I really liked the idea of dedicating a short block of time to get it all out of the way at once instead of dragging the experience out a little at a time over a few months.  So I set aside this weekend to do this program.  Here’s how it went:


Friday
I got Tommy up at his regular time of 7:00am and took his nighttime diaper off and announced that today he would learn how to use the potty like a big boy and he would get to wear underwear like big boys wear.  He seemed to like this idea.  Then I told him it was time to throw away all of our old diapers since we wouldn’t need them anymore.  He helped me put all his diapers into a garbage bag and we both put it in the trash (which I later retrieved because Ben still needs diapers...shhh!).  Then it was time for breakfast and I started filling him up with drinks. 

The rest of the day is a blur of accidents, pee, potty visits, juice, hyperactivity, and more accidents.  I made the mistake that first day of giving Tommy too many sugary drinks and I paid dearly for it.  One moment he was bouncing off the walls, the next he was curled up in a ball on me complaining that his tummy hurt.  At nap time he wet completely through his clothes and sheets.  Then he was up for more drinks, more accidents, and more potty visits.  Then it was bedtime and I decided to see what would happen if he didn’t wear a diaper at night.  Well, you can guess - he wet himself promptly when he woke up.  I’m pretty sure he wets in the morning right before he fully wakes up, so there’s nothing he can do about it until he is biologically able to hold it.  (On Friday he went through 25 pairs of underwear.)


Saturday
The early part of this morning was very much like the previous day and I was feeling discouraged.  However, everyone told me to NOT give up no matter how badly things seemed to be going, so I stuck with it.  Over the next few hours, things got a little better.  Now Tommy would announce every time he started wetting and we’d run off to the potty to finish up.  This was improvement!  He had a nice nap and even woke up dry!  At night, I decided to put an overnight Pull-Up on him.  He told me it was a diaper, but I said, “No, these are Big Boy Nighttime Undies!”.  He seemed to accept that.   (On Saturday he went through 22 pairs of underwear.)


Sunday
This was a completely new day.  All of our training seemed to suddenly click as soon as he woke up.  He had NO accidents all day!  He always told me when he had to pee, and when we rushed to the potty, he peed!  It was amazing!  He did wet during his nap, unfortunately.  I think it’s just a mater of time before he learns to hold it when he sleeps during the day.  Later in the evening we went out to dinner - we were out of the house for over an hour with no accidents!  We had a few false alarm potty trips, but still made it home dry.  (On Sunday he went through only 3 pairs of underwear.)


I think it’s safe to say that Tommy is mostly potty trained, after only 3 days.   It will still take awhile before he is trained to go to the bathroom independently, but at least he’s out of diapers.

The Fort is Complete!

I (Mark) have been working tirelessly for the past 3 weeks to complete a fort for our boys.  It’s designed to grow with them through the years, and each “play station” (ie: slide, rope ladder, etc) is removable and can be replaced with something more advanced later on.  We wanted something that was fun and large, and yet did not encroach on the lawn or too much of the sand. Going with two towers in each back-corner of the sandbox seemed like the best approach. This also left room under them for shaded sand-play.


The holes went through a foot of sand then 3 feet of rocky soil.  50 lbs. of concrete held each pressure-treated twelve-foot 4x4. Then the basic framing was bolted on. I had to trim a few small branches, but for the most part I tried to keep the trees intact, growing around, above and through the fort.


My brother’s nail gun made putting up the fence boards a breeze.
80% of the lumber used was left-over from my parent’s house and fence. I put the full 6’ fence boards tight together on the back to give our neighbors privacy. For the rest, I cut each 6’ board into three 2’ boards, then did a decorative cut on the top with my table saw.

The basic structure is done. Now for the add-ons!  After looking online, I thought I would have to spend $300 on a slide. Home Depot did not carry any. But then I tried Lowe’s. They have a great one for $90! And they had a lot of other inexpensive things too, like a swing, tarps, a rope ladder, and handles. I just finished installing all of those today. The slide, rope ladder and stairs all have large wood/concrete blocks buried under the sand to keep them secure. 


All we have left to do is sand the whole thing then stain/seal it. When the boys get older, we plan on adding a rock wall, 3rd floor, zip/squirrel lines, and a trap-door to the ground level. 


It has been an exciting project, and remarkably inexpensive, thanks to using mostly left-over lumber and bargain-hunting the add-ons.  It is solid as a rock, and I know it will bring many summers of fun for the boys, their cousins and friends!

Two Weeks Later...

It’s been two weeks since my miscarriage on Sunday, March 8th.  I’ve been able to gain a little bit of perspective about my experience.  I no longer burst into tears at the mere thought of losing my baby, or at the sight of a pregnant woman.  I’m feeling a bit more “normal” every day. Every day that gets me further away from March 8th is a better day.


Here’s what I’ve been feeling...
Optimistic:
- I’m really looking forward to having a fun summer with my boys.  Before all this happened, Mark and I were planning on going away alone together for a few days before the chaos of having 3 kids started.  Now we are planning to spend about 4 days in San Diego with the boys.  
- I’m looking forward to enjoying my boys better now that I have more energy to play with them and more space for them in my mind 
-I can start working hard on getting my pre-pre-pre pregnancy body back now that I know I’ll never be pregnant again.  In only 3 years, I’ve been up 40 lbs (Tommy’s pregnancy), then down 25 lbs, then up another 20 lbs (Ben’s pregnancy), then down 30 lbs, then up 15 lbs.  My poor body needs a break!
-I’m looking forward to clearing out all the baby clothes we have (about 6 boxes worth in the garage!) and giving them to someone who can use them.
- To see my son in Heaven someday
-To see what plans God has for me


Guilt/Sadness:
- For feeling optimistic
- For enjoying myself in ways that I couldn’t while I was pregnant


Here’s what I’ve been doing:
- I’ve lost 10 lbs since March 6 (the day we found out our baby had died)
- I am eating healthy.  I was eating healthy food before, but was also allowing myself some treats and extra portions.  Not any more.  
- I work out at the gym three times a week doing strength training to tone muscles that have been wrecked by childbirth
- I walk at least 1.5 miles every day, often more
- Housework!  I’ve been so tired the past 4 months that I haven’t been able to keep my house as tidy as Mark and I like.  Now that I have energy, our house is looking a lot better and is more enjoyable to be in.

Jump!

Tommy’s new (and favorite) skill is jumping. I remember only a handful of months ago when he wasn’t yet able to jump, but he would still crouch down, arms extended backwards (skier style), only to take a little step forward.  Now he’s jumping down two and three steps at a time and loving flying through the air. 

Goodbye, Samuel

The following post is not for the weak of stomach.  It is meant to explain in written word the journey Mark and I have been through the past 2 days, so that I don’t have to go through the painful task of reliving the events in face-to-face conversation. 

_________________________________________________

My D&C was scheduled for this morning at 10 am, but I never made it that far.  I had painful cramping Saturday night and all day Sunday, and staying completely still was the only thing that seemed to keep the cramping at bay.  What I didn’t realize is that the “cramps” were actually contractions and that I was most likely in labor the whole day.  Around 8 pm, my water broke while I was sitting on the couch and I delivered the baby just a few minutes later.  It was a little boy, Samuel.  

We rushed off to the emergency room where I was checked and rechecked every which way to determine whether any “products of conception” were left behind.  Meanwhile, Samuel was taken to Pathology.  


After a few hours of tests, it was determined that there was some tissue left behind and that I would need a D&C after all.  Unfortunately, general anesthesia was not an option, but the doctor assured me that the drugs he could offer me would put me in such a state so that I wouldn’t remember anything.  In reality, they only made me slightly drowsy and I do remember the entire procedure vividly.  Luckily, however, I didn’t feel much more than heavy pressure.  


I was able to go home 30 minutes after the procedure. As we were leaving, God sent an angel to minister to us. All the nurses were very kind, but this one was a God-send. She had 2 boys, went through a similar situation as us, and then adopted another boy to create a very happy family. We sat a few rows in front of her at our church  in the same service for a few months, yet never met her before tonight. Amid all the tears, despair, fatigue and blood, she raised our spirits and gave us hope.


We finally got home around 2:30 am. I slept all of 3 hours that night.


Physically, I feel better than I have in many days.  Emotionally, I tend to vacillate between raw sorrow and cool indifference.  If I dwell on the physical experience or think about how my baby Samuel is not with me anymore, will never know his brothers, and that I won’t have my dream of a posse of boys wrecking my house, I lose it.  So I try to focus my thoughts on the present and with what is true, not on all that could have been.


I know my sweet baby boy is safely in the arms of my Father and that I will meet him someday and he will be able to meet his brothers.


For now, I put my hope in the promises that God works all things for good according to his purpose, and that if there is anything I don’t understand, I just need to ask for wisdom.


As for the future, we are sure that it is in God’s plan for us to adopt someday.  It is something we have been thinking about for a few years.  Now that certain doors are closed, we look forward to what new doors God might open.

The Lord Has Given and The Lord Has Taken Away...

I never made a formal announcement here on this blog, but I was 16 weeks pregnant, due August 21st with our third little blessing.  Last Friday I started bleeding and immediately went to the doctor.  We found out that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing around 13 weeks.  I will be having a D&C on Monday.  I chose to have this procedure done because it was the safest and best option for how far along I am.  Pregnancies this far along don’t pass naturally without much risk.  


What I’ve been feeling...
Sadness:
- That this was my last pregnancy and I will never be pregnant again.  It is hard dealing with that fact.  I was trying to enjoy this pregnancy knowing it would be my last.
- That we will not be able to have any more biological children.  We were very happy with the idea of having three children and we waited for Mark to get his snip until I was past my 12th week and we confirmed that everything was going well with the baby.  At 12 weeks we saw his heartbeat and saw him dancing around in my womb.  We got a vasectomy 2 days later.  The baby died at 13ish weeks.  It just seems like a very cruel twist of fate.
- That I will never be able to meet the little baby that was growing inside me for 13 weeks


Guilt:
- That I’m relieved in some ways.
- That I actually laughed a lot the day we found out. It is odd how a morbid sense of humor comes out in these situations.
- That I didn’t fully bond with the baby the way Mark did.  I think I always knew from the very beginning that something was wrong and wouldn’t allow myself to fully connect until I saw that sweet little face on this side of my womb. 
- I don’t, however, have any guilt about causing it...I know the miscarriage statistics and how common they are in normal healthy women (1 in 3 pregnancies).  I know I didn’t do anything to cause it.


Thankfulness:
- That I have two beautiful happy little boys to hug and kiss
- That I have an amazingly supportive husband who just wants to sit next to me while I cry
- That I was prepared for this event in so many different ways:
      • My memory verse for the morning I started the miscarriage (before I knew anything would happen hours later) was from James 1:2-4: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work in your so that you may be mature, and complete, not lacking in anything.”
      • My Mothering By Heart church moms group spoke on the topic of miscarriage only 4 weeks ago.  I took detailed notes during Colleen’s talk and am now clinging to those notes along with my Bible (and Mark’s arm).


Impatience:
- To get this ordeal behind me - though I know it’s wildly unrealistic to think this will be “behind me” anytime soon
- To start losing weight - I’ve gained 20 lbs with no baby to nurse the fat away.  I’m going to have to do lose weight the old fashioned way of eating less and moving more.  Until then, I have to wear maternity clothes, since that’s all that fits me right now.
- To know what the future holds to see if we’ll ever have any more children - either through a biological miracle (Vas. fail all the time!) or adoption.  Mark and I are not familiar with the feeling of not knowing what the future holds and it’s a bit unsettling.


...May the Name of the Lord be Praised.

Puddle Stompin'!

What do you do with kids when it’s pouring rain outside, they’re sick of coloring, and you can’t bear to sing another verse of Wheels on the Bus?  Why, you go puddle jumping of course!

All in a Hard Day's Work

Tommy’s favorite thing in the world is to “help” Daddy.  Not just helping a parent, but specifically helping Daddy with just about anything.  Last night he helped Daddy paint a small block of wood that was to be a piece of missing baseboard in our kitchen.  Today while we had a brief reprieve of rain, he helped Daddy dig holes in our sandbox in preparation for the fort we’re going to start building very soon (as soon as this rain stops!)

Tommy Thinks Pink

Does this dress lie in our future?  I’ve asked Tommy a few times over the past couple of weeks whether he’d like a little sister or a little brother.  One-hundred percent of the time he says “sister”.  He knows there is a baby in mommy’s tummy (not anatomically correct, but whatever...I’m not ready to introduce the word ‘uterus’ quite yet) so when I ask him if he thinks the baby is a girl or boy, he says girl 100% of the time.  Is there something to this?  I actually think there is.


On the message board I belong to for Tommy’s birth month/year, I mentioned my conversations with him regarding the sex of our baby.  I got back lots of comments about how other moms’ children also correctly predicted the sex of their baby.  One woman’s 2 year old actually told her that she was pregnant weeks before she even tested positive!  Do these little people know something we don’t?  We’ll find out in 3 weeks if Tommy is correct!

Marriage Survey

This survey has been floating around Facebook for awhile, so I thought it would be fun to complete it and share it here.


What are your middle names?
Mine is Courtney, his is Kenneth


How long have you been together?
4.5 years, 5 if you count dating


How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Hard to say...we didn't know each other and we never really started "dating". We met online and talked incessantly until we decided this was "it" and we would probably end up marrying each other. We talked online for 3 months by the time I realized he would be my future husband.


Who asked whom out?
Doesn't really apply


How old are each of you?
I'm 25, he's 31


Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mark's brother, his only sibling. He lives down the street with his wife and 2 girls and we see them almost every day. I have no siblings.


Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Kids, hands down. Life was easy before kids. Now we have to figure out how to "stay ourselves" and retain some semblance of the lovey-doveyness we had before kids when we have these little people running around us all day.


Did you go to the same school?
No...he went to UC Davis (in CA), I went to Southern Connecticut State University.


Are you from the same home town?
No. Mark grew up in Morgan Hill, CA and I grew up in a few different towns in Connecticut.


Who is smarter?
Mark thinks I'm smarter, but I think he's smarter. He's a genius at math and maps. I have superhuman hearing and ninja-like skills. So maybe it's a draw.


Who is the most sensitive?
Probably me. I've gotten exponentially better since we were first married, though.


Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We just found an yummy and affordable Italian restaurant 15 mins away, so we've been eating there a lot lately.


Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
We drove across the country from Connecticut to California. We've never been out of the country together (or apart, for that matter)


Who has the craziest exes?
Neither


Who has the worst temper?
Me. Having 2 children has brought it out of me and with God's help I've learned to control it. You'd never know it if you just met me though. I'm normally very soft-spoken and quiet, but when you give me 2 screaming children, both hanging on me and both wanting something but unable to express what that is, I can definitely get annoyed.  I grew up with a yelling mom and don’t want that for my kids, so I’ve been motivated to nip that in the bud.


Who does the cooking?
Me.


Who is the neat-freak?
Probably me, but we're both organized people


Who is more stubborn?
Neither of us is stubborn


Who hogs the bed?
Mark, but it's understandable when you're 13 inches taller and 100 lbs heavier than your wife. 


Who wakes up earlier?
Me. I wake up at 5:30am every morning except on weekends. He wakes up around 6:30


Where was your first date?
Empire State Building


Who is more jealous?
Neither


How long did it take to get serious?
Three months


Who eats more?
Depends if I'm pregnant at the time...if I am, then me.  Otherwise I'd say Mark.


Who does the laundry?
Me.


Who's better with the computer?
Mark


Who drives when you are together?
Me.

Fishy Business

Hi, Mark here. I thought I would put up a post about one of my hobbies, fish keeping. I first got an aquarium over a year ago, just before Ben was born. I have learned a lot since then.  I have loved aquariums my whole life. I have always been awed by the tranquil fantasy world you could create full of light, color and life.  When I see a beautiful aquarium, I really want to live inside it.


Until recently I thought that the hobby would be boring and a lot of work.  Well, it does take patience, but if you keep everything in order, the work is minimal.


Aquariums are worlds in a box.  You create whole ecosystems and nurture them to life.  Far from boring, there is so much activity and beauty to see. On a daily basis I find myself stopping to watch, often pulling up a chair. A very enjoyable hobby. Thanks for reading.

Spring 2008 - My first tank, 30 gallons

Fall 2008 - The 30 gallon is thriving

January 2009 - My new 60 gallon

Feb 2009 - With CO2 injections, the plants are exploding with growth. The green stalks in the back grow about 2 inches a day

Conversations with Tommy

Tommy’s language has exploded lately.  He picks up so much of what we say, which makes us so thankful that our speech is clean, save for the occasional fart or burp joke.  Here are some samples of Tommy’s cute sayings:
“Bizzit?” = What is it?
“Biter-biter” = Firefighter
“Choshat-mote” = Chocolate milk
“Her okay, Mommy?” - whenever I bump myself and exclaim “ouch!”


Here is a recent bedtime conversation:
Me:  Time to pray, Tommy
Tommy: Lord, thank you...
Me: [repeats]
Tommy: For Benji.
Me: [repeats]....Is there anything else?
Tommy: (pauses)...for Jesus.


Atta boy.  :)

Snow Day!

It snowed last night!  Not at our house of course, but up in the mountains of Henry Coe Park.  We went up there this morning to see the snow and to show it off to the kids.  It was their first time ever experiencing the cold wet stuff.  


It was a bit bizarre for me, having grown up in Connecticut and seeing snow every winter for 21 years, to see the cold wet stuff here in sunny California.  I admit I’ve been California-ized in the 4 years I’ve lived here, and so I wasn’t very prepared.  For some reason I thought it would be sunny and warm at the top of them mountain and I would miraculously be surrounded by snow in spite of sunshine.  Not true. 


It was snowing pretty heavy up there and reminded me so much of back East.  Luckily Tommy was wearing his boots and we had some extra jackets in the car, so the kids were fine.


I tried to encourage Tommy to eat snow, but he wanted no part of it.  He seemed to enjoy walking in it and looking at it, but was reluctant to touch it.  Hopefully we’ll see the snow again before winter ends.

An Art Project

This is what we do when it’s cold, rainy, and yucky outside.  We rip up old tissue paper and party streamers and glue them to a paper grocery bag, with a beautiful effect!

Mixing the glue...

Carefully applying glue...

Finished product!

Happy 1st Birthday, Benji!

Last Sunday, February 1st, you turned one!  It’s been a fun year - I can’t believe how quickly time passes with children!  In just one year you’ve gone from a helpless tiny infant to a walking, babbling toddler.  You’re a very happy, easy-going little guy.  You love to laugh at your older brother’s ‘jokes’ (read: screaming).  You are quick towards independence, preferring table food and sippy cups early on instead of pureed baby food and bottles.  I can’t wait to see how you grow in your 2nd year!

Newborn

12 Months

The Boys

It’s been quite awhile since my last post, so here’s an update in pictures:

Tommy is becoming proficient at the art of time out.  While his “terrible twos” seem to be mostly over, he still has moments of outright testing.  He sees a lot of this corner.

Benji is really good at amusing himself.  Here he has some of his favorite playthings: a spoon and a pot lid, good for both making a ruckus and for chewing on.

Tommy is in a “cutting” phase, where he loves to use his toddler fork to cut anything he can.  Here he is cutting Cheerios on half.  He also loves spending time with me in the kitchen, so this is a great way to keep him busy.

Benji is quite the climber.  He can get up to the second step on this slide, and can climb any staircase.  Getting back down is a different story...

Tommy is spending more time with books lately and is even happy to sit quietly and look at them by himself.  His favorites, of course, are books about cars, trucks, trains, anything with wheels.  Here he is in his ‘reading nook’ looking at a book about tow trucks.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Tommy!

Dear Tommy,


One year ago:

• You couldn’t walk more than 10 feet without falling over
• You loved to play “Simon Says” and laughed with delight when we’d mimic your hand clapping or raspberry blowing
• You had a habit of crawling into the bath with your clothes on when we weren’t looking

Today you are 2!  You love hearing us sing “The Wheels on the Bus” and even sing along, adding the word “town” at the appropriate moment.  You love all things vehicular.  You love trying to do things for yourself, like putting your shirt and shoes on.  We try to give you shoes that are simple for you to put on.  :)  You love grated cheese and ketchup.  You’re so polite when you say “more che-chup peese” and we love hearing those cute words.  You try to mimic our spelling whenever you see oversized letters, saying “eee, arr, iiii, eee!” even though the letters say “T - O - M.”


You are my little buddy and I love spending time with you, whether we’re watching Cars, tickling, or reading a book.  I can’t wait to see how you grow and figure the world out during this next year. 

Hours Old

4 months

14 months

20 months

2 years

Halloween Preview

We bought this spider costume for Nemo at Target yesterday. We tried it on today and Nemo didn't think much of it. He danced around for awhile chasing the many legs until he finally caught one. This costume was so worth the money.